Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma -Chapter 25- The New beginning in my life

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968) 

CHAPTER 25

THE NEW BEGINNING IN MY LIFE

From the uncongenial but pompous show of living at Pudukkottah, my next stop was Chigleput. My brother-in-law and my sister were keeping house in an unpretentious locality a cul-de-sac called Easwaran Koil street. They were sub tenants in an old house along with a Vakil's clerk and his sister in law who was keeping the house for him and owned the house. My father also stayed along with us. I was admitted into The Native High School about one mile from the house situated on the banks of a lake called Gundur lake. (Ref 1) The life at Chingleput opened my eyes to many things in the world. 

My sister and my brother in law were tenants in a portion of that house owned by a Golconda Telugu Brahmin vakil Gumastha, a widower to boot by name Kuppu Rao. His widowed sister in law Kutti ammal as she was called kept house for him. They were very kind to us and the child of my sister, a daughter, was fondly brought up by them.I had to go a mile off the house to the school where I soon gained friendship of a number of boys. Most of the teachers hailed from Tanjore and other districts in the south and they had a sympathy for the boys who left their native places for some reasons not of their making and come and study at chingleput. The teachers taught us well and gave us not only a good training but created a taste even in the beginner standards for good language and literature. It was not a dictation process but our memories had to be trained well that we must repeat the best passages for which we were applauded. I well remember how in our infant minds one sentence  in one of the English readers  " It is better to tread the mill and do manual work than to driving the goose quill quite on a fools' cap",Even in my infantile fancy pictured for my future vocation, anything except the post of a clerk in an office. I must pay tribute to one Ramachandra Iyer my master who licked me to shape and I was assigned to duty of bringing him the tiffins from his house. His wife was so frugal that even in those days of plenty she fried a number of vadais in a spoon with a big base (வால்  கரண்டி) Usually I had a bite after my master had finished his tiffin. It was a labour of love and I was only wishing that my master would put me on more errands so that I might prove my faith and respect for him. His brother one Venkatrama Iyer was more ostentatious but equally affable. No doubt they used the rod on occasions but such occasions were few and far between. The Headmaster before whom the boys stood with admiration with huge open eyes was a majestic person. he had a noble mind. His subordinates were his friends rather than inferiors. One thing must be said to their credit. Every one was spotlessly dressed with a long coat, white Dhoti and turban all snow white with a large caste mark on their foreheads. By their mien and behaviour, they were examples to follow in our lives. The schooling for 3 years in that school pruned me a lot.I overcame my liking for solitary musings over my ill fated beginnings in life and started to rub shoulders with boys of my age whom I soon began to emulate. I was in a few years the top boy in the class but I was too docile to be dominant. I was not a personality in the school but was a figure that could not be left unaccounted. Truth is that we did not have much sports activity in that school. An athlete was not hailed as a hero sans his academic achievements. There was neither a mass drill, nor cricket but there was stress on gymnastics in parallel bars horizontal bars etc. I was of a very weak physique and I always shunned that training for the mere reason that I was too weak for those. I wondered at the feats being performed by my senior students and never missed an inter school foot ball match. in the Gundur lake grounds opposite to the school with a hill on the offing giving a background to the school and with a vast expanse of the lake in front. The school was a lovable quiet place apart and away from the din of the town. I liked its sylvan setting and used to admire alone of an evening when the sun was hiding himself behind the hillock and when the golden rays of the slowly sinking fiery hemisphere shot out and spread allover the western sky. It almost seemed as if one count the number of rays that were being emitted Suddenly the whole western sky was getting pale blue reminding me that it was time for me to run home lest my aged father and my guardians should worry on my account. The home coming and cleaning and lighting the hurricane for the house or the evening visit to the Siva temple and study for half an hour or so and carrying my sister's daughter (Ref  2) right round and tutoring her to speak which she lisped to my pleasure were all the routine for the evening. At the temple, I used to fell that I ought to request God for so many things but soon the thought will arrive in me as to what I am to ask of God. - the return of my deceased mother who had created a great void in my life - as I never thought that I had to worry about anything in my life. The complexities of money did not touch me. My world was small but sufficient and sufficiently showy to give me a place in the boyish society.My needs were attended to and I was fed without need to weep when hungry until some one took pity on me which I had experienced during the last one or two years or I had to partake of food with a lot of insults poured on me as to how I was a despicable vermin at the feeder's hands and how that they had to do this for the old man who had done a lot to whom they probably owed their station and financial position. Any way, my wants were few my brother in law's brother Sundarramama Iyer his wife my mother's sister and his sons one of them employed in the hospital and was to soon enter the service. I used to admire him for his physical strength though he chilled me by his piercing look from two small eyes in a broad space. His sister Padmasani who was already my friend and then shared her sweets with me through the communicating window of the two houses. My brother in law used to come late at 7.30 or 8 PM and it grew very dark. I used to be standing at the door steps thinking that such waiting will make him come early. Chingleput was a nice place even then with a big Railway station with a lot of traffic. It had a number of mission schools, courts and busy lawyers and litigants. it was the high way to holy places like Tirukkalukundram and Mahabalipuram. The city lacked good drinking water and every evening, the women accomapanied by urchins and small girls used to walk to a fresh water lake called Tirumalarayan tank  a mile and a half from our residence. That occupied a portion of the evening and by dusk when we returned, the temple bells used to ring and all of us used to rush in to have darshan and see the deepa aradhana. The day's programme concluded with a thrifty swab abd by 8 or 8 30 we were put to bed.

My school masters made me interested in studying books other than prescribed text books in teaching which they introduced a lot of stories and citations from other books which they named if we evinced interest in reading them. A lot of importance was , of course given to behaviour.  I was much above the standard because of what had happened to me in my early years-as narrated before-.  It was much fun and interest for me to get those books and read. The habit started in my third form and I am grateful to my early mentors eho imbibed this thirst in me  so early. I took to extra study with relish and Mccaulay and Scott were my favourite authors. I tried to adopt the style of the former though the mode of expression of the latter attracted me. Regular attendance at the school and long walks to home tired me by the evening. I did continue sandhya and recitation of slokas meticulously and regularly interspersed with carrying of my sister's daughter a chubby child to the temple for the sayarakshai darshan. This routine of my work pleased me but not for long. I had no domestic work entrusted to me and .found some evenings time hanging heavily on my hands. I was once taken by my aunt's husband who was also brother of my brother in law  to see the reformatory schools. there young boys assiduously clad were asked to do various kinds of work. weaving, metal working,and gardening. They were given some schooling also and were allowed to play games in the opposite playground with the watch man around them. They appeared to be happy but by 6 PM they were shut in and locked. I could not understand how they happened to be there.
(The notes abruptly end here and my best efforts to trace any written material which continues the narration failed. It is presumed that my grandfather probably stopped writing due to some reason.) 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     Editor's notes:
1. The Native High School was started in 1877 by Shri M E Ramnujachariar and Shri M E Srirangachariar. In 1884 it became a full fledged high school. from 1901 to 1911, Shri M E Srirangachariar was the headmaster. His photo is given below. In 1929, the school was taken over by RC Mission with the recommendation of the Education department and was renamed as St Joseph's High School. The school exists today by that name and a photo of the school as it is today is seen below.


School as it is today

Shri M E Srirangachariar and Shri M E Narasimhachariar who were the head master when my grand father studied in the school between 1909-1912.

2. The girl child mentioned here was the only daughter of  Chellammal, the eldest of the family. This girl named Tripurasundari was married to my grandfather when she was 13 and when my grandfather was 20. She died shortly after the marriage.  My grandfather was crestfallen and on that day wrote in his diary in black ink the following poem by Shelley called Ode to Skylark which has philosophical overtones.  
"Hail to Thee,blithe Spirit !
Bird thou never wert,
That from heaven or from near it
Pourest thy full heart
In profuse strains of unpremeditated art".
PS:
In a year he remarried Krishnammal Ammal  my grandmother which was a succesfull marriage of 47 years. They had four sons. The second of them Sangeetha Jyothi Shri C G Pattabhiraman B.A. B.T is my father 
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma -Chapter 24- Lingering Pudukkottah memories

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 24

LINGERING PUDUKKOTTAH MEMORIES

In short, two days later I was enjoying the trip along with my father in stages to chingleput, the place a bit familiar to me when I had been there with my grandfather as I had already described. The next chapter in my life opens in Chingleput. Before I start on that portion, I need to dwell a little more on my Pudukkottah memories.

Right through my stay at Pudukkottah , iu was often reminded that my father's Guru whose name was given to me (Guruswami) had attained Siddhi at that place and my father and his friends were there when the samadhi was built over him on the eastern bank of the Kulam. I was taken there by one sankara Iyer, my father's theosophist chela who, after a number of years became a relative also. His father-in-law, I was told was  a State Tahsildar at Alangudi and was a great friend of my father. I was impressed in Pudukkottah by the nightly behaviour, flutes, drums etc  for every jamam called "pari" and used to wake up to hear them.(Ref 1)  I had also thee privilege of witnessing the then maharajah stepping down in front of the -can I say- our house to receive the garland and other respects from my people. I was introduced to him by my father and he was kind to say that the old noble race continues in the young ones like me and he is rightly glad about it. Again I was told that my grandfather (paternal) was responsible for instituting friday charities, of oil, saffron and rice to sumangalis and also the Navarathri sadhas. I attended one day and I also received a dole of rice. Learned discussions in sastras were going on and presents were made to Pundits on the day after Vijayadasami. The temple at Tirugokarnam and tutelary Devi of the palace Brahadamba riveted all my attention a good deal and I never missed the opportunity to have a dharshan of that benign Goddess. Highly bejewelled and adorned the deities were taken in procession with soldiers marching and I remember only a few things about such grandiose shows. I was taken to the Palace to see many things but the only two things that fixed my attention were the relic of sand on which Sri Sadasiva Brahmendra had written  (Ref 2) so many years ago and which was worshipped daily. I also remember the Darbar hall where there is still first seat adorned with flowers and is said to have been kept unfilled after my grandfather who was also called Kuppuswami Josyar and whose aganitham is said to be followed in the publication of the annual Pudukkottah Panchangam. It was a well planned city with its straight streets, ponds and palaces and I loved it then and I love it now, though it had lost all the factors for which I loved it. It was uncorrupted by the impact of the western English civilization and people were kind most of them being Madhwas and ashtasahasram smarthas with three or four well known vadama families including ours. The place was not linked by railways or buses then. It was a city of large gardens and had a sylvan touch and life was comparatively cheap. There was of course petty fighting among higher ranks and lower ranks and scarcely one came to see us or the other so called gentry of the place had his upper cloth on when he saw any one of us  face to face. So did the upper rank when Dewan or the Raja was met. There was a small army and cavalry also and on some days fairly dressed cavalry men used to ride along the main streets.It was a gala affair. The place was full of artistes and fine cuts were appreciated and patronised by d a large extent by the state. I also saw the turbanned bust photo of my late cousin, Lawyer in the beautiful court building and stood admiring him who was reported to have crossed swords against even the illustrious vakils of from Madras. That was all what Pudukkottah impressed me in that impressionable age and much of that impression still lingers though so many things have changed including the whole set up of the State in the next few decades.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\
Editor's notes:
1.My grandmother used to give a more descriptive and picuresque description of "Pari"s (as she might have seen or heard from her mother who belonged to Pudukkottah). Morning at 5 AM they had vedappari when learned pundits used to go round the palace reciting vedas. Sanguppari was earlier than that, when a palace guard went round blowing conch. similarly, in the night, they had Manippari, paraippari and nayanappari etc. As the 4 jamams are there in the night there were usually 4 paris. ( A jamam is roughly 3 hours)   
2.  The revered saint Sadasiva Brahmendra blessed Raja of Pudukkottah Maharah Vijaya Raghunatha Thondaiman (1730-1768) who became his bhaktha after seeing him in Pudukkottah near Tiruvarankulam. After reated requests from Raja, Swamiji initated him in the Dakshinamurthy mantram. Since the saint had taken a vow of silence, he had to write down on sand and Raja learnt it by repeating it. Raja collected the sand after memorising the mantra in his angavastram. This sand is kept and worshipped in the Dakshinamurthy temple inside the palace till today. 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------       

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma -Chapter 23 - The Imperial Household of Pudukkottah

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N CURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 23

THE IMPERIAL HOUSEHOLD OF PUDUKKOTTAH

The house was a big one and an imposing structure. With arches in front and large pials the broad steps from the big street led into a capacious rezhi (ரேழி) and thence in to a big hall with a swing. from thence we entered another passage to the north of which was w big well inside a room where one could bathe and it was always cool. from the south of this capacious Koodam (கூடம்) a flight of steps both to the east and west leading to to a spacious koodam there also . To the south of this Koodam  and covering the flight of steps was a verandah with an arch in the south. In this verandah was an easy chair and a small table. This was the place where my father sat and discoursed with a number of visitors who dropped in all through the day. Except when he came down in the early mornings for a bath, and for the two measl to another spacious dining hall and a large kitchen, he was always seated in the cane chair dressed in speckless white dhoties and angavasthram and vibhuti very correctly worn in the forehead  and on the body. Many whom I did not know came and prostrated before him and received prasadam. Some recited Gita before him or chanted upanishads in the morning and slokas in the evening . I also joined them if my fahter ordered me to do so. 

My cousin's wife "Manni" as she was universally called was an "imperious' woman. Her voice was only command in the whole house (Ref 1). Her first son Nagaraja Iyer held some small post , honorary as bench magistrate. He was the son inlaw of Justice T V seshagiri Iyer but he was nothing in the household though flashing with diamond ear rings and finger rings. he used to be writing something in Tamil probably stories for journals but I do't remember having seen any of them in print. he was grandlooking but a stammerer. There was one Gopala Iyer who took commands from "manni" regarding all household matters. he was very kind to me and used to cheer me up by some word or other as I was fish out of water in that house hold. there was one Kanagasabai Pillai who was another major domo running about at the bidding of my manni. Sreenivasan (lately called Sarma) (Ref 2) and Venkittu were of my age , the former elder by some years. Manni's only daughter Yoga was married to one Ramachandra Iyer and he was the son in law of that imperial household. he was living separate a few doors from this house in the same row and he had by then a son called Cheenu and two daughters. I was told that he was retired from the state Police service but he was posing to be an ardent chela of my father who was universally or atleast in Pudukkottah called "Chithappa" by every one. Musical celebrities who came to the royal Court and to the Palace used to stay in that house and I remeber the visit of one "Poochi" (ramnad Srinivsasa Iyengar) along with his sishya Ariyakkudi Ramanujam. The former used to be nervous before his evening programme and used to walk nervously to and fro in the koodam singing to himself some tune or the other. he ued to attract my attention a good lot and I was going to closee to him whenever I could. There was a whiote bedecked lady who was in that house and she was called Gnanam. She used to take me up in her arms and sometimes feed me. I did not know about her and I thought she was a member of that household. Long after, I heard that she was a vaineeka and my deceased cousin (Ramachandra Iyer) who could also play on Veena was allowing her to be in the house two decades before his demise. Whatever it might be, she was an angel to me in that house. To the back of that house was a big tank called "Pallan Kulam" and I was taken for a bath in the muddy water along with the boys. i was presented two famous Pudukkottah "Chaya veshtis" along with my meagre wardrobe and in addition to the existing apparel. there ws a baby cart int hat house and a few days after my arrival, i was admitted in a primary school called Baliah school and used to be pushed over to school in that cart along with Sreenivas (lately called Sarma the third son of the deceased cousin) I vaguely remmebr some school mates of mine of whom one is now the famous "Rukmini Arundale".(Ref 3) I was having this schooling for about a month.  My manni always used to call me "Kolundhu nar" (a pun of the word to be pronounced as Kozhundanar meaning brother of the husband-Ed) and not kolunthanar and I was vaguley feeling that she and her coterie were not taking kindly to me but were probably under the impressiion that I will be left in their hands, a poor relative. My father's another eder brother deceased panchu anna as he used to refer to him in his talks left one son Vembuchami Iyer who after having been employed under Abraham Pandithar (Ref 4)  at Tanjore was employed int hat state itself. He was even then a very poor man with a number of daughters and one son. There were some other realatives who were pointed out to me among them one Ramachandra Iyer and one Meena Akka and others. Other elatives from my paternal side came and saw my father -the "universal chithappa" and after spending some time with him they left. Even fthe looks from the large rolling eyes of my "Manni" spelt derision and contempt though the lips were visibly shaped with a smile.  . All told that the atmosphere was stultifying and not conducive to the growth of the young one -me. You felt a palpable difference in every way and the language used was no doubt pompous and full worded but it always meant a smile and thrust into you the feeling that you are not at all a welcome inhabitant and had no place in that august household. I had shed lonely tears in the back hall of the upstairs and none I had to whom I can turn for comfort and sympathy. Things were going on and I was almost an automaton fixed in the gyration of that family. One day while being pushed in the cart along with Sreenivas (Sarma), the cart was upset and I fell down near a gutter in the turning of the main road to school. Of course, Sarma also slid down but being an elder boy he managed to keep his balance. There was a lot of good cheer at my discomption all round. I broke into tears and was taken home with a soiled cloth and had my bath in the Pallan Kulam. My father was absent from that place on that day and so the whole incident was attributed to me and it was attributed to my haing been given a status while I was only fit for the gutter. Veiled jokes of this sort pained me terribly. I would have welcomed open abuses.   
Just as if God desired to save me from this black spot. my father arrived a few days laterr and announced that his son-in-law at chingleput sas consented to take me in and have me educated there. My Manni was very disappointed after the announcement. She said that all her plans to have her "kolundhanar" educated that in the course of years he may occupy the position of her husband as a lawyer in his ancestral city and sit in his "gadi" were all shattered. She , probably rightly guessed that none else of her sons were going to do it. many talks and discussions were held the sense of which my child mind could not comprehend.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Editor's notes:
1. I met this lady in 1963 when she was almost 100. I had spent a night in that house enroute Kumbakonam from Trichy. I saw her in a form which could rarely be compared with what is described here. She was frail, old with wrinkled face and looked sad sitting in a crouched position in a corner 3 by 3 in that house. When someone introduced me as "Guru's grandson", she had a twinkle in the eye as she cupped her hands above her eyes and tried to see me. I do not know what thoughts might have gone through in her mind. 
2.  Sreenivas as he is introduced here was known as R S Sarma and I met him several times. The last time I met him was in 1974 when on my way to Mumbai for training in IBM, I met him in Triplicane in chennai in a small house. Though R S Sarma was cousin to my grandfather and logically he should have been addressed as "Periappa", my father used to call him "Ammanji".
This strange name is due to the following reason. My grandmother's mother by name Nagalakshmi ammal came from Pudukkottah and R S Sarma was maternal uncle's son to her. (She must have been the daughter of Chinna Ramchandra Iyer's sister). 
3.  Padma Bhushan Smt Rukmini Devi Arundale, a Dancer and a Theosophist, was born in 1904  at Madurai. Her father was in Public works Department and hence had a transferable job. She could have studied for few years in Pudukkottah. Her father also being associated with theosophical society, my grandfather's father could have interacted with him in those years. 
4.Abraham Pandithar was born in Sambavar Vadakarai in Tirunelveli District in 1859. he moved to Tanjore around 1890 to study medicinal plants. Due to his interest in Tamil literature, he did extensive research in Tamil music and established Sangeetha Vidyalaya Mahajana sangam in Tanjore and conducted music conferences regularly. He published several Tamil Keertanais and published papers in Music conferences , the notable being the All India Music Conference held in Baroda in 1916. He passed away in 1919.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma Chapter 22- My entry in Pudukkottah

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM CN GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 22

My entry in Pudukkottah 

One very foolish act of mine has to be recorded if I have to be true to myself. In one of the store rooms in the Lodge, there was stored some boxes called "Magic Lantern Boxes". I had seen magic being performed but I never knew anything about magic lantern.  I naturally thought that the possession of some of those things contained in the boxes will give some power to perform magic. So I stealthily got hold of the key of that room and in a dark night I opened the room and in pitch darkness opened the magic lantern boxes and I found only glass plates and nothing mystic or even esoteric.   I was absolutely disappointed at my "house breaking" producing no tangible benefit to me or bestowing any powers to display before the crowds some uncanny shows. I retrurned the key to its place and later on when the boxes were brought out and the slides shown on a screen through a projector in the dark hall, I learnt that the whole show had nothing to do with magic and that I was a fool. This incident I could never forget. It showed me how much nervous strain and fear and tremblings and sweating was necessary to do one unlawful act. I was almost frustrated after I found I was a fool.

Some months passed in this usual routine and my mother's annual ceremony had to be perfoemed by me in a Purohit's house and there was a common discussion as to where I had to be putup so that I can concentrate on my studies. My eldest sister but one Meenambal by name was married, it appears to one of my uncles, who was given in adoption to another maternal grandfather's brother who after service at Ettayapuram Zamin was living in a village near Melur called Vannambaraipatti   His name was Subbier and his wife, a beautiful old lady was Soundarammal who was an adept at making "athirasam" which delicacy she always brought to the delight of my father " The Pudukkottah son-in law" !! It was discussed whether I should be left with my sister Meenambal  at Tiruppattur where my brother-in-law was a clerk in Sub registrar's office. My father decided it was not to be there. My father's elder brother's son one Ramachandra Iyer who got educated by my father at Madura in his younger days was a leading lawyer at Pudukkottah. that time. Even today every one knows my paternal family and name of Chinna Ramachandra Iyer whose loco-parentis was my father always. After brilliant career as an advocate though he had his small sexual failings in that he had a permanent concubine , more social than a wife in his house and was driving in a coach and a pair keeping up the ancient family prestige at  Pudukkottah state, he died leaving four sons and a widow, an imperious lady by name Mangalambal. My father was respected in that household and probably he had it in his mind that it might be good to me if I should join the young boys ie my cousins Sreenivas and Venkittu and study there with them. He probably never wanted to worry the young couple my sister and my brother-in-law at chingleput who were themselves having no separate household apart from my maternal aunt and her husband as well as my brother-in-law's brother ( Elder brother got married to my grandfather's mother's sister and younger brother to my grandfather's sister-Ed) . It so happened therefore one day my father and myself started for Tiruppattur and after a night's stay there went to Tirumayam and from there by Jatka to Pudukkottah reaching the big house there in East main street called "Rama Vilas" at 8 PM on a dark night.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Autobiography of Ahdyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma- Chapter 21- Jagadguru

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 21

JAGADGURU

During the short sojourn in the big city, an incident happened which can be stated as a land mark in my life. The great Acharya of Sringeri Mutt, Sri Narasimha Bharati Swami (Ref 1) was sojourning at Madura temple. Large concourse of people from near and far were teeming in thousands to the temple for witnessing the Puja and having  Dharshan of the great Man. I was dreaming that some benefit will accrue to me if I could have dharshan of the Great Man. My father was telling others often that he was our family Acharya why the Jagatguru  for all. As luck would have it one night my father took me also along with some notables of Madura to the temple to witness the Puja. With my recently tonsured head and the Dhoti above the knees, with Vibhuti besmeared in bold outline allover my body and a Yagnopavitham on a black background I was presented to the Acharya by my father. Involuntarily and without the least knowledge of what it all meant i started reciting परीक्ष्य लोकान (Ref 2) and other Acharya's slokas. The great man without the least reserve caught hold of my arm, out his right hand on my head and asked me to sit down by his side. As soon as the abhishekam to the deities was begun, I was reciting with a clarity of voice , not knowing if it was the correct thing to do or not , a number of upanishads and sukthams. All throught the function, my Guru was benevolently smiling at me and his large eyes were giving me a kind look. Theertham and prasadam were given and when I came into the prakara I found thousands sitting for  a meal. i was so hungry and more than that anxious to eat the prasad and I also sat and ate my full probably the "squarest meal" I have ever had had. Somehow, I missed my father when I got up but  soon some one came and took me to him and he was still standing there. Acharya was talking to him in sanskrit and Telugu. (Ref 3). I again prostrated and was given akshada, kumkum and some fruits and I left for the Lodge with my father late in the night. It was as I understand now,navarathri season and Pujas were held every night. People were thronging the place in huge numbers and it was difficult to jostle through the crowd and approach the Jagatguru. I iused to get up on a stone pillar and have a glimpse of His benign and beaming face over the heads of the thick crowd. I t was indeed a great fortune for me when one morning my father called me by his side and asked me to wear silk cloth after having bath and performing Sandhya and accompany him to visit the Acharya as He had ordained that I must be taken to Him. I had not even the ghost of an idea as to why I was summoned and for what purpose but I was so eager to meet Him whose sight seemed to pour calmness and happiness ito my mind. Soon we, my father and one or two of his friends and myself were there in the temple but it was not an open affair and the Acharya was sitting inside a room with some guards outside the room and an agent of the mutt, a very powerful looking man whose name I learnt to be one Srikantayya. My father and his friends were let into the room without any hindrance but I was stopped. The benevolent Acharya, saw me and signed me to come in and in a childish voice I protested that I should not be stopped when I was beckoned  inside and I rushed in and prostrated number of times at the feet of the Jagatguru. He smiled in a way which only He can. After some talk with the elders for a few mintutes, the Swami called me and whispered into my right ear  a great Mantra I knew nothing about or which deity it represented. When I was actually non-plussed, the swamiji said, "Don't worry, you go on repeating this mantra even when you are playing at marbles. Somebody will come and explain everything to you at a future time". (Ref 4) My father asked the Swamiji whether the "angas" were not necessary for the Mantra and he replied all such things are not needed for "that child". I again fell at his feet and a plate of fruits with a kashaya silk was given to me on a plate and I was ordained to wear it whenver I felt serious enough to sit and meditate on the Mantra continuously and when I had an occasion to perform the Puja to Devi (Ref 5). He wanted that I should observe closely how he was conducting the Puja to Sri Saradamba and I sat in front of him for more than an hour closely watching the Puja. Lastly he said that some few years later in  my life, every ritual connected with the Puja will be explained to me and I can do the puja as he was doing. A brat that I was then one doubt arose in my mind as it was supreme importance , namely as to who will present me another Kashaya if one that was then given to me should get torn and ready came the reply that I will always be supplied with a fresh one when the one I wore got worn out. With all doubts cleared, still knowing nothing, except that I had the greatest benediction in my life, I parted company with my Guru after getting his blessings again and came back to the Lodge with my father and to the usual routine. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------    . .  

Editor's note:
1. Sri Narasimha Bharati Swamiji also called Sri Sachidhanandha Shivabhinava Narasimha Bharati swami was the 33rd Jagadguru of the Dakshinamnaya Sringeri Peetam from 1879 to 1912. He performed Kaladi yatra during 1907 to 1909 and he was performing Puja in Madurai Mennakshi Amman temple in 1908. Since my grandfather had undergone upanayanam which is normally done at the age of eight, we can determine the year of birth of my grandfather as 1900 and he was studying fifth standard at the age of 8.  
2. Mundakpopanishad has this famous mantra

The MundakaopaniShat has this famous mantra:

परीक्ष्य लोकान् कर्मचितान् ब्राह्मणो निर्वेदमायात् नास्त्यकृतः कृतेन । तद्विज्ञानार्थं स गुरुमेवाभिगच्छेत् समित्पाणिः श्रोत्रियं ब्रह्मनिष्ठम् ॥ (1.2.12) 

parIkShya lokAn karmachitAn brAhmaNo nirvedamAyAt nAstyakRRitaH kRRitena. Tadvi~jnAnArtham sa gurumevAbhigacChet samitpANiH shortriyam brahmaiShTham.

3. It is customary for Sankaracharyas of Sringeri to converse in Sanskrit and so it is not a surprise. However, switching over to Telugu means both swamiji and my grandfather's father knew it better than sanskrit and they could be comfortable in their intimate discussions. (Swamiji was born in 1858 and it means He was younger to my grandfather's father by a few years.). It is also possible to conclude that such a mastery over Telugu can only come if the previous generations have come from Telugu speaking area. It is my submission that my grandfather's ancestors came from Chetlur in Vijayanagar empire. They were probably invited by Maratha King Sarabhoji I and they came to Tanjore around 1700 CE..   

4. I have the knowledge of this incident which happened as foretold by Swami. This was related to me by my granfather himself. Some where in 1917 or 1918 when my grand father was in the Victoria Hostel and studying BA in Presidency College, Madras, a short person with diminutive figure and very old (குள்ளமான தோற்றம் ) came to see my grandfather. Obviously, he attracted no one's attention. Unmindful of the disdain of the people around, he sat there in the hostel room and performed Pranayama  several times at the end of which he started looking different. There was radiance in his face and he looked almost as if he had grown in size. He gave my grandfather a picture of Rajarajeswari and taught him several things about performing Puja. My grandfather started performing Puja to this picture and in the hostel several students used to bring cakes and biscuits as naivedyams. Devi probably took them in her stride. He performed Devi Puja from 1918 to 1968 the year he passed away after Dasara. This picture is still in our house.

5. It is difficult to explain the Kashaya being given. Except sanyasi, others are not allowed to wear Kashaya vastra according to scriptures. Even brahmacharis cannot wear the Kashayam. Then, why did the Swamiji present the kashayam?. There are many possibilities.One such possibility is Swamiji was looking for a successor as He was close to 50 when he visited Madurai. Was He preparing my grandfather to take up the responsibility in due course? Was he seeing him as one of the potentials and wanted to groom him?. Note this . He Himself did the upadesham though there were many learned pundits around. He established Himself as the direct Guru to my grandfather by this Upadesham. It is reported that Swamiji did hear the words "Make room" sometime in 1908 after 42 years in the throne, which meant that He had to look for a successor and train him before he could take Mahasamadhi. Selection process would involve several steps and examination of many aspects including horoscopes of candidates. These would have taken some time. But, would my grandfather have been in Sringeri Peetam if things had taken a different turn?. Did swamiji discuss with my grandfather's father this possibility and that is why He switched over to Telugu to maintain confidentiality?.We do not know. All that we know is Narasimha Bharati Swamiji did select His successor in 1912 just before His Mahasamadhi. He was Chandrasekara Bharati (original name Narasimha) who was a Gnani even before he came into sanyas and so probably did not need any training.  My grandfather also used to say that he was to be a "light on the hill but ended up as a light in the pot". (குன்றினில் ஏற்றிய விளக்குக்கு பதிலாக குடத்தில் ஏற்றிய விளக்காக ஆனேன்). It may mean different things to different people.

Our prayer to the great sage: 

sri Sachchidanandha Shivabhinavya  Nrsimha Bharatyabhidhanyathindraan

Vidyaanidhin Mantra nidhin sadhaatma nishtaan bhaje Maanava shambu roopaan. 

      

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------.  

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma Chapter 20-Annadhata Sambu Iyer

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 20

Annadhata Sambu Iyer

Kamu Athai developed Dhyana and meditative powers and never worried about worldly things. She virtually left the care of her three sons to my father. My father got her eldest son Sundaram Iyer married to his own sister in law Easwari Ammal and was getting younger sons Doraiswami and veeraraghavan educated. Doraiswamy passed his lower exams in Madura and got married to my eldest sister chellammal. he was sent to Madras for his higher Collegiate education but he did not take kindly to it.  Years before my birth, he not succeeding in his attempts to pass the F A class even after three attempts (Ref 1)went to his elder brother being by then appointed as a clerk in the Reformatory school in Chingleput. He got appointment there as amin in the District munsif court against the wishes of my father who had a berth for him in the Educaitional Service. He set up house with my sister at Chingleput. His younger brother Veeraraghavan got married to the daughter of my father's vadhyar (purohit) who belonged to batlakundu. This relationship was brought about because of one Sambu Iyer who seemed to have been serving my father as a cook and companion when he was Inspector of European schools some of which were at Kodaikanal. My father used to recount in his later days how he used to climb the hills in a pack horse called valankai mattam  in stages and how this Sambu Iyer used to accompany him and almost keep guard over him besides feeding him. after some years of service the said gentleman finding that my father was on a furlough preparatory to retirement  took his advice and with some money which was kept in store for him by my father, and using his influence with some European officer got employed as a Courier of mails from Arumuga naicker Chathiram (now called kodaikanal Road) to the hills by post coaches. His apellation was changed to mail Sambu Iyer and he became famous throughout the hills and was a welcome guest to many Europeans who inhabited the hills as a harbinger of good news. There was no other mode of conveyance to those hills during those times and Sambu Iyer had to be approached for transport both for luggage and human beings. he seemed to have been affable, good-hearted and great man, whose vow was to feed atleast ten to twelve thousand people every year. he earned very well but was always a reliable guardian for all his poor relatives and he brought up almost every family in Batlakundu. His name was remembered with respect by all and he never refused a request. This story is relevant at this juncture because of an incident which took place one day in brahma Vidya Lodge. A large man came and prostrated before my father and my father raised him with both his hands calling him "sambu". Are you all doing well?. I was asked to prostrate sambu Iyer and I did so in dismay not knowing anything about him but being drawn to him by some kind of force. he also took me up in his arms and with tears in his eyes blessed me by saying " You are my Yajaman's only child. You must grow and become great like your father". I could understand nothing about his feelings at that time. My father recounted the above story to those who were present and what I could piece from it I have narrated as above from my infantile memory. This is one incident which made a deep impression in my mind and I decided to respect that great man and feed as many as possible in my life afterwards as "food" and "feeding" were a daily problem in my life then and I had to look up every morning to a benefactor with an avidity always guessing "who will give me the next feed ?" . My God"! It was a beggar's life and being a bit sensitive, I looked so abashed when so many gave food to me kindly, no doubt, but I could never have my full and I arose as hungry after the meal as i was before it. I was praying to my Goddess- Sri meenakshi- my mother's deity who was responsible for ushering me into this world to stop this rot. (Ref 2) 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  Editor's note:
1. F A is Fellow of Arts and was a two year course after high school. (VI Form). It was also a rule that if some one does not pass in three attempts he cannot proceed to B.A. 
2. I wish to narrate an incident connected with the chapter now. When my uncle returned from UK in 1964/65 , he and my grandfather were sitting in the house and my uncle for the first time started reading the manuscript of the autobiography which was being written then. He read this portion and started uncontrollably sobbing. I could understand now why he cried. None of my uncles nor my father nor ourselves ever felt pangs of hunger in my grandfather's house. I can tell the same about the numerous nephews and nieces who visited the Kumbakonam house.My grandfather went hungry many nights but he provided enough for all of us. Naturally, my eyes are also full of tears when I write this part of the narration. I have to tell you, Grandpa, you did not pass on even an iota of your suffering to us. But for reading now, we may not even know your sufferings. If I don't remember you atleast when I am having food then what is the gratitude I am showing you?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------    : 
      

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma Chapter 19-I learn about my father's Madura connections

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 19

I learn about my father's Madura connections

Thaiyu Ammal recounted how my father was informed by his Guru of my birth at Kulappa Naicken Choultry. She took me to that Choultry which belonged to the Zamindar of Neikkarapatti near Palani whose Tutor her husband Ramappa was and hence he was allowed to reside in that choultry as a part of his remuneration. My mother seems to have run there - it being her paternal uncle's residence with birth pangs and in a dark kitchen with the aid of this Thaiyu ammal and with no other mid wife I was given birth in a dingy and dark kitchen on the ground. I saw the place in that choultry in her company years after my birth and I was elated. It left in my mind a very deep impression. That lady took me to various places in Madura including the temple of the Devi my mother's Ishta devata who granted her boon of a child-this brat. I was awe stricken and inspired at everything I saw in Madura. It was a grand city and I felt a pang when I learnt that even the house where I lived till my fourth year had been sold away. I had nothing -no tie with this beautiful and charmed city. I was a wayfarer though I was born there and I did not know where my next stop in life was going to be.i felt like crying and I sobbed silently with none to comfort me in the nights at the desolate "Brahma Gnana hall" where I had my residence along with my father. the routine was to have get up along with the elders in the early morning and have bath in the society well along with the elders who were learning under my father repeat Acharya's slokas and one or two upanishads. In the morning on some days, one of the gentle men who learnt under my father took me to his home and fed me with cold rice and on most of the days I had to accompany my father for  a meal in any one of his friends' houses or had it done at Thaiyu's house.  My maternal grand father's younger brother and her husband was kind to me and it was decided later that I stayed at Madura I might come for my meals in his house and the kind lady fed me with the frugal meal which was their accustomed menu. They had an adopted son who was born to their elder brother one Krishna Iyer who was a leading lawyer of that place. some twenty/thirty years before, my father who got transferred to Madura on service got friendly with a gentleman from Batlakundu who was a merchant and a broker of sorts. he was married to one of the sisters of my maternal grand father and he prevailed over my father to have his sister in law married to my father. she seems to have been a very beautiful woman though slightly squint eyed and a pet child of the family. My father yielded and opened a house in Madura, along with Krishna Iyer, the Vakil and Ramaswamy iyer  who was sent to Madras for graduating and the sisters of his second wife Kamu Athai, Ammalu athai as they were called the former being the wife of the Batlakundu friend above mentioned. This joint venture seemed to have run for quite a decade and more and my father pooling his earnings with the other gentleman had probably the most enjoyable years of his wedded life. My second step mother I was told was petted by her sisters and she was fond of dresses , flowers and jewels and every night was a happy nuptial night for my father. He himself used to tell my sisters during the last years that his second wife was a "Dasi" and he had a lot of married happiness. (Ref 1). During that time, my father's friend at Thasildar at Tirumangalam had only one daughter. Thaiyu and my father got the girl married to Ramaswami Iyer who had by then become his wife's brother and was graduating at Madras. The Gods never left this happy nest to continue in comfort. My stepmother died The cup of bitterness was full for my father, the Pudukkottah Mappillai as he was called by all in Madura. the vakil brother in law had by then a number of boys and he left and set up a different household in Sandaippettai street having pourchased a house himself, the other brother in law shifted with his wife Thaiyu, got employed s a logic professor  in the Madura College after his graduation. At this stage my father's Batlakundu friend died probably without any assets leaving his wife Kamu Athai taking the helm of affairs of my father's household continued and she pressed my father with dexterity and he got married to his second wife's father's brother's daughter and the marriage with my mother took place. her aunts were helpful to her  in carrying on such a big household. My mother seems to have been a pet of her parents and my father, probably because of his own occupation  and freuent camps and public duties in which indulged in, was not quite closely attentive to her. Soon four daughters were born. My father got naturally interested in the family of his deceased friend who was materially instrumental in getting him into Madura fold. His widow Kamu athai who was just about thirty years of age when she got widowed with three sons on her hand was highly philosophical inclined and she sat with other people who learnt under my father.  Though she was not proficient in sanskrit she had such a remarkable working knowledge in Tamil that as my father used to say surprised him with parallel quotations from Tamil "Kaivalya Navaneetham" (Ref 2)and other Tamil philosophical treatises. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Editor's note:
1.  I seek the forgiveness of my great grandmother, wherever she is,and I wish to affirm to her that I have only acted in the capacity of a scribe in transcribing this sentence written as it was in the notebook. I realise how inappropriate it sounds today when some one so small in stature to the elders who lived and passed away to write like this in an article so openly. I wish my grandfather had avoided this epithet.
2. Kaivalya Navaneetham is a vedanta treatise in Tamil written in 1500s by Thandavrayar swamigal. It is supposed to be the extract of philosophy (like the butter is obtained from milk) and is written like a conversation between father and son or a student and teacher.The first few commentaries were written in nineteenth century.   
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------    
     

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma Chapter 18- Melur leaves me

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 18

MELUR LEAVES ME 

To add to the misery of every one calling me "thodukali" and as if that prophecy had to come true, one day my grandfather died. Was it also my making? For the first time in my life I was in the august presence of death. The great soul passed away and I was almost daily weeping in secret   for him and I felt I had lost the only comforter in life and the only friend in the world.

The great law that made life possible for me at melur having snapped, other interets began to prevail upon my mother's sister and affection to me was a bit stayed off. My life also had to take a turn. I had passed the highest examination at the Melur Primary American Mission School  and my education had to be perforce in a different place. My friends in those days were very few and I lost sight of them later in life except one Sitaraman son of Chidambaram iyer an old valkil of Melur. He is figure in my story later. 

One fine evening I was taken by my senior uncle with a cloth bundle consisting of two or three shirts and dhoties with some class books in the night cart to Madura. I writhed over the sacks of grain the bandy and had no space even to sit up. I remember the fare to Madura was 2 As for my uncle and one anna for me. The cart was driven behind a train of carts which went before it and the journey began by about 9 in the night. It was pitch dark outside and I did not enjoy the music of the bandy men which I had been used to hear on such journeys to and fro Madura. It was a very bright hot sunny morning when I reached the shandy on the southern bank of the vaigai river, the place where all such bandies used to come and gather. Straight from there I was taken to  "Brahma Gnana sabha " or theosophical society building. in Sandaippettai street where my father was looking after things.  I was told that he, with the famous R Narayana Iyer the leading advcocate were instrumental  in putting up the splendid building and decorating with furniture etc.. My father was conducting meetings there staying there itself , being a widower. he was fully engaged in writing some commentaries along with one sundarraja Sarma of periyakulam.who was publishing a journal with my father and called it probably "Brahma Vidya". My father was never lending his name to any published books including the translations of the ten upanishads. They were published in the name of A SIva Rao who was a Registrar and was a devoted friend. In addition to the above three  (ie Narayana Iyer, Sundarraja Sarma and my father) came for conerences one A. Rangaswami Iyer  - a reputed lawyer in Madura living in the same street. My maternal grandfather's younger brother one Ramappa as he was called was a Logic professor in the Madura College along with his wife Thaiyu ammal housed me and fed me off and on when I was not dinning with my father and with Mr Narayana Iyer. I slowly came to knwo from that old and kind lady some thing about my father and the details of my life. She was a nice old lady. she recounted how my father who belonged to Pudukkottah state ancestrally learnt English from his brother one Rangaswami and passed at Srirangam the in the Training school tests and got educated under Sir Baden Powell (Ref 1)  at Madras  where his brother Rangaswami was practising as a vakil of the Madras High Court. Having passed the then Civil Services Examination along with illustrious compeers like Mani Iyer and others, he chose Education Department  and was posted first as headmaster at Udumalpet and how service at various places and circles like the then Coimbatore, Tirunelveli and lastly Madura circle. He first married or got marrried to his own maternal uncle's daughter(Pudukkottah Puja Mama's daughter) and lost her within few years of wedding. My father in his older age used to recount to me and my sisters that that lady was intensely philosophical and a vedantin by instinct, and how on the first marital night she was regaling my father with the reading of "Gnana Vasishtam". having lost her early in life, he was continuing as a bachelor or a widower none being interested in him to such a degree as to get him married. WhIle at Sivaganga, it is said that he became a disciple of Sadasivendra (Judge Swamigal) an avadhuta under whom he had initiation in the Upanishads and Adhyatma Vidya. It appears his brother in law and uncle's son Chidambaram iyer by name was sent with a message by the then Rajah of Pudukottah to The Zamindar or rajah of Sivaganga and how with his sweet voice he regaled the Rajah and his Dewan by reciting Krishna Karnamritham slokas and how Raja ordered his Dewan Jalli krishna Iyer to get the youth married with his family. By royal order, the ammanji or the cousin of my father got married and settled in Sivaganga itself under Royal patronage. My father's elder brother and his English tutor and Vakil who had mastered "Rasselas " and could recite it even in his dream was a spend thrift drifted back to Sivaganga he having no face to go to Pudukkottah having sold off his patrimony along with my father's share even without going to that place. He had one son who died in his teenage and soon after his wife left leaving only daughter Sundari by name. having none to care for him, he got his daughter married to chidambaram Iyer's younger brother who was an employee of the Zamin at Tiruvadanai. it appears he died soon after that.When my father joined his spiritual preceptor at Sivaganga there was another young man ex employee of the Survey Department.who was a close chela of his. I learnt soon after that he became an avadhuta himself and resided at Sendamangalam, More about this great man later on as and when he figures in my later life. My father then was a much respected government servant and he got certificates from the British Government that he was the pioneer of education in Madras and was the Chief inspecting school master of two circles. While on an inspection of a school at Tiruppuvanam (or Thiruchchuzhi) he had the good fortune to look into the answers written on a slate by a young boy and he found that the only answer "Sivamayam" was found on it. The boy's father was a teacher in that school and his face became red with shame at what he thought was the colossal ignorance of his own boy. My father seemed to have patted the boy and carried on a solitary conversation with him and then called his father and told him that his son was a great gnani who will be world famous and requested the father to let his son have his own way. This young boy ater bloomed forth as Sri Ramana Maharishi of Tiruvannamalai and I had the good fortune to hear the story told me by swamiji's own lips when I went for his Darshan in 1929 and narrated to him who was my father. and how I had an affection for Madura District only. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Editor's note:
Ref 1: Sir Baden Powell (1857-1941) the man who gave birth to the scout  movement served in India as the Commander for 5th Dragoon Guards from 1897 for some time.We are not able to emphatically state that he would be the person mentioned here as my grandfather's father would have studied in Madras probably in 1865-70 around which time sir Baden Powell might have just joined the British Army.Possibility of another Baden Powell cannot be ruled out.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma-Chapter 17-Brutally punished for no fault

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 17

BRUTALLY PUNISHED FOR NO FAULT

One of these visits to the choultry came to be woven with a very bitter incident. There was lodged in that choultry the office of the Inspector of schools. One fat bushy brahmin was the inspector of schools. He used to call me and ask me about my father and was telling me stories as to how my fahter was an inspector like him in Sivaganga , madura and some other places in the south and how he was treating sympathetically On day, when i visited his office, he was absent and his peon gave me and my friend Gopalan two or three full chalk pieces. We thought it was very kind of him. When we were about to leave, the Inspector strode in with a cane and gave me and my friend sharp cuts with the cane on our naked backs..  My friend yelled and said that we did not take the chalk pieces and the peon gave them to us voluntarily and the peon also sad so.  But the man with his reddish rolling eyes came down on us again and beat us rather furiously in the street. I threw the chalk pieces at him and was turning back home when my uncle returning from office saw this scene and believing that I had stolen the chalk pieces drove me home by the ear and gave me a good slashing by the belt and hands. The more silent I was the more the beating  and no body's intervention would stop his anger. I had the first experience of this sort in my life and it was the last experience too. (Ref1).  I was so much pained all over the body and my sister Ammalu put me to bed and I slept without  a meal.  as  is fortune would have it, the very next day, my book was opened by my uncle and there  was a big eight annas coin inside. This ,my sister gave to me when she left and I had kept it there not knowing what to do with it. My  Uncle dashed the book on my head and said that he will drive me away from the house and that i had stolen his coin. there was another orgy of beating and I thought how I would contrive to escape and whether to go away with the sadhus. Nothing that I said seemed to dislodge the opinion and for a couple of days, I was in contempt. 
Then one morning the inspector of schools came and called me in the presence of my uncle. I thought that both of them will finish me off now to pulp for things which I had not done. it proved otherwise. the man came near me and patted me on my head said that i had done nothing wrong and gave me a half s dozen chalk pieces and some sweets to eat. I would have none of it. crestfallen he left and my uncle was surprised. Any how, I lost all comfort in life from then on and as soon as vacation set in, I ran to the village to stay with my senior uncle and my boys and in that quiet atmosphere which I immensely liked with the usual routine of baths in the tank etc. But something or other did not leave me quiet there too. I was taken back to perform some shraddhas for what I was told of my mother senior who was married to my father before my mother. some ceremony was performed spiritlessly by me. All the time I was seriously told that I was a terribly unlucky fellow and a "thodukali" (தொடுகாலி ) and I was born only to "scatter sesame seeds and water" to three people all dead and about whom i had absolutely no vague remembrance. Am I responsible for all their deaths? if so, I felt I had no place in the world but I must quit but where to? .
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Editor's note: 
Ref 1:   My grandfather used to like a tamil song தந்தை தாய் இருந்தால் உலகத்தில் உமக்கிந்த தாழ்வெ ல்லாம் வருமோ ஐயா?  sung beautifully by N C vasanthakokilam addressed to Lord Siva. I think he must have been recalling this incident when he heard this song often. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma Chapter 16- The Holy men of Melur

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 16

THE HOLY MEN OF MELUR

Something of other dogged even this unsensational routine. My sister Chellammal arrived from Chingleput along with my father. As usual, my father had his own busy programmes to finish daily as regular as a clock. Suddenly, one day, my sister got fits. She was unconscious , hiccupping and rolling round and round on the floor beating her hands. It was a terrible sight and tears were drawn from my eyes. I was too timid to approach but from behind the pillar I watched it though it was unbearable suffering. Some native Doctors boiled margosa oil which fumed the whole house and some medicines were being administered. Some days later, she was alright and was going about. She appeared to me then as a woman who belonged neither to this world not to the other unseen place. But , this incident drew me to her much closer and from then onwards, i could never part from her company. I always desired to do something if possible to make her smile and dash off a tear from her eye. I hoped I was succeeding.

Soon there was a crowd in the house and smelling like a festivity and I was presented clothes and tonsured completely. I lost my looks and it caused me a lot of pain. I had my "poonal" and my grandfather lived to see through the function he desired so much to witness. 

As soon as the function was over, I was left all alone as all my sisters went away (Ref 1). My father also went on tour. The only appendage to my dress was a cap with which I was hiding my naked and bright scalp clean shaven. I had only one friend name Gopalan of my street who was my classmate. we used to talk but never played.  I used to witness his dexterity in marble playing in which for the life of me I could not emulate him. Even for witnessing this, I used to receive some painful punches and knocks on my head from the closed knuckles of my grand Uncle.(Ref 2) I thought that everything like that was a sin and never played any body's game. I was slyly playing "Pallanguzhi" (பல்லாங்குழி)    with my cousin sister Ammalu when my uncle was off. 

One day I was walking on the road when I saw a bearded Sadhu sitting in the choultry in the street. The officials of the choultry were said to be our relations and i used of an evening to go there. On the pials which were broad and long could be seen a number of bearded men some besmeared and dressed only in koupina with massive matted hair tied in a top knot like a crown on the head and others dressed in kashaya all kneading flour in the evening in an oven piled together with three or four stones. Some of them with very bright eyes and beads of rudraksha around their necks attracted me and called forth my reverence. They reminded me of Parameshwara which I used to see in the picture in my house.I did not know what they were about but I imagined that they were at big attempts in life.  One of them cured a man instantaneously of a serpent bite by some juice gathered from some source. another used to smoke a in a clay pipe and produced after it a shining dot of gold. Others were doing such similar small feats. One was standing on his head and another was always with a fire before him. I thought that they knew some thing which I did not know and had hidden knowledge. I remember one Sadhu whose thumb was always nodding  and it would not be stopped even by some people clutching it.  He was a mouni and never spoke but always smiled on what they were finding I did not know but I never missed an occasion when I could be in their company and used to follow any one of them, When they went out vaguely imagining that one of them would tutor me in some hidden knowledge and confer gifts one me enabling me to perform something "miraculous". Except blessing  me and saying I will have fame and a good future none indulged in me any of the secrets. From then on, I had a fancy for such men and i would run behind them involuntarily  to get what not at their hands I did not know but this was an impressionable episode in my life at Melur. I think I always venerated spiritually great men.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Editor's note:

Ref 1: It appears that by 1908, all sisters are married though we do not have account of any marriage in the narration. 

Ref 2: It is not clear who this grand uncle is. It is to be noted that though my grand father received such knockings, he never touched any child in anger let alone beat any one or knock any body's head. I should know because I was brought up by him and had infuriated him so many times with my irritating and immature behaviour when I was young which, I realise now, would have exasperated any person.He gave us such a beautiful childhood though he did not have one. 

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------         

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma -Chapter 15-The fall of the gentle giant

AUTOBIOGRAOPHY OF

 ADHYATAMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 15

THE FALL OF THE GENTLE GIANT

From Chingleput station, all of us went straight to  a big corner house in Easwaran Kovil street. (Ref 1). It was a cul- de sac and I easily picked up the names of the boys and girls there and my mother's sister and her sons and her husband came very well near to me to pinpoint my attention on them. I ought to have been a nice looking boy  for all the girls flocked to me and one Padmasani (Ref 2) caught hold of me and took me away and all of us had some meal distributed I being kept at her side. I felt happy in her company and then my sister Chellammal came and took me away and gave  me a bath.  I was nicely dressed up again and I used to sit in the pial watching every one who was going in and coming out with great interest so that I might know how I was placed vis a vis with them and was furiously thinking as to what they all meant for me.Other things did not attract my attention. I vaguely remember a procession in a sarattu (Ref 3), Nadhawaram, songs by ladies etc but I did not know what all those things meant. I was always thereafter at the arpon of my sister or in the company of my new friend and sister Padmasani who appeared unnecessarily gaudily dressed. In about a weeks' time, all were bundled off that place with the assurance that all of them will be at Melur again for some sequence of the marriage and for my "poonul" function given a large importance by my grandfather who was proclaiming it from the housetops to all and sundry. My brother-in-law and sister said that they will be there soon and for the present I might go back to Melur. So, I did ,for I think Padmasani was also with us to Madura in the train and I had some welcome company. The same slow journey back to Madura and then trekking by bullock carts, I reached Melur house without Padmasani but with her sister. Thus ended  an episode rather not painful but not also happy. The next following period was not smooth. It was of course routine work for me going for the buttermilk in the morning and then to school then to walk and then moping and then to sleep. 
Soon something happened which was the first painful thing I consciously underwent. It was the paralytic stroke of my grandfather. The giant six feet tall was laid low  and was confined to bed. He could not move his limbs and had to be helped for eating , bathing etc and it was no easy thing to do all that. I also contributed not because I could be of any great assistance to the elders but because in my own way I wanted to comfort that kind old man who was repeatedly calling me and stating openly to all that " Before I die, I want to see his poonal". He was a very brave man and he used to cry out " What is Dharmaraja to me! Let him dare take this Muthu away". One great admiration I had for him was because of the fact that even though he suffered, the very active man at that ripe old age never complained and almost wore a smile.  In later days, when I used to have dharshan of Pallikonda Perumal  in some shrines bathed in oil and dark in appearance my grandfather's recumbent stature used to come to my memory. I shed a ter for him very often. He was so kind to me and I had nobody in the world to pet me other than him. My father was too big and pothers had their own pets to draw their attention upon them. I felt I had no place in that picture and was a misfit in that frame Sometimes this fact was even articulately dinned into my ears but I had scarcely a place to go and none to whom I can communicate my unfortunate state in my life. 

One bright spot in this daily routine was accompanying my grandmother to Periyar channel (ref 4)  about a mile from the house. The channel was not deep but  there was sufficient water flowing in and I used to jump into it from the bridge and then smear my body with mud by rolling in the road and then again jump in. When I was satiated with this sport, my grandmother also finished her washing. the wet sarees etc were saddled on my shoulders and accompanying her I used to go home. It was all really fun.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ref 1: Easwaran Kovil street today appears to be in ward no 9 in Chengalpattu but we do not know about the house.

Ref 2: As a sequel to this chapter, I wish to add that the sister-brother relationship between Padmasani, the girl mentioned here as the new acquaintance in the marriage and my grandfather continued and became stronger in the next generation. Padmasani ammal's daughter by name Kanakam ammal was married to my grandfather's first son Narayanaswamy avargal (known as Mr G N Sharma) in 1944. I was told that Padmasani ammal when she was terminally ill,got a promise from my grandfather. Emphasising her relationship as his sister she wanted to make sure that her only daughter would become the first daughter in law of my grandfather. Thus She became the sambandhi as well.
Ref 3: It was customary in those days to have the bridegroom to be taken in a procession around the town in a coach drawn by four horses. The name of the coach is Sarattu. 

Ref 4 Periyar main channel was built between 1875 to 1885 and remains as the source of irrigation in Melur and surrounding villages.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

         

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma Chapter 14- My first Train Journey

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 14

MY FIRST TRAIN JOURNEY

A tempest occurred in our little household in a few months time. My maternal grandfather was getting old and and it was decided that my uncle was to be married at Chingleput soon. One day, all of us packed off to Madura and put up in a train. That was the first time I saw a train and an engine. Its cooing caught my fancy and even today when I hear the distant whistling of a Railway engine the craving goes up into my heart to get into the train and travel. 

The passenger carriages in those days were heavy and were made of wood. Large and broad benches opposite to each other formed a compartment which was separated from the next by a partition of wooden scantling with interstices between two compartments. The lighting was by a wick and oil glass lamp at the middle of the top portion. It was not a readable light but there was a dim lght enough to distinguish one man from another. We had two or three compartments adjacent to each other probably reserved for the surging crowd never attempted to enter these. We carried hampers of prepared food and water and bedding. My big grandfather fully occupied one bench and I was curled up in the corner near the door for I don't think there were  windows for the carriages. We were about forty strong and for the first time I was shown my or rather my mother's relatives. There was one brother of my grandfather who was logic professor whose son in fact was getting married. (Ref 1). They all appeared to big and they scarcely engaged themselves in parleying with me. The train moved slow and very steady giving up large quantity of dark smoke and crowing whistles as often as it could. It sopped at every station and something or other was being vended at each stop, mostly eatables. The young amongst the group purchased a few of them and distributed. Soon the charm of this slow travelling  with a snorting engine faded and as the night drew  most of the group slept. Though I was desirous to keep awake and see everything outside Melur I think I also slept for when woke up some body was blaring with a loud noise "Thanjavur" and ringing  incessantly a handbell in a repeated fashion. some vendors -brahmins- were vending Iddlis etc but much noise about coffee was not heard or probably I do not remember. Old men meticulously performed Sandhya from tumblers of water taken from the Kujas. None bathed for ought I know. There were no pipes visible on the platforms. All the youngsters were asked not to get down from the train though it stopped for hell of a long time at every station and was unwilling to proceed at any signal or whistling or waving of flags.The engine then grunted. there was a loud noise as if thunder has struck and slowly some speed was gained but even before that the next station was sighted and the same process was repeated. At last after journeying throughout the day and night  the word "chingleput" was loudly screeched from the plat form. There were five or six men outside in the platform and all of us slowly got down and stood on earth. One interesting feature about this station was a busily running vendor who was yelling out "Panchangam" "Panchangam". He was a lean little old man with a big cloth bound parcel on his head and one bundle under each arm which he was hugging and other loose things in his hand. he had tolerably a good sale at 4 pies a Panchangam (Ref 2) . while I was wondering at the crowd, wearing different kinds of dresses and women dressed in varigated coloured sarees one man suddenly drew me apart and said, "Guru! How are you? Your sister is awaiting you". For the life of me , I didn't recognise him but my grandfather said that he was my sister Chellammal's husband Doraiswami and he was employed at that place along with his brother whose wife is my mother's sister. (Ref 3)  . All this meant not much to me. I have vaguely heard of a sister who was being "Vadakke" (வடக்கே ) that is -in the north- at Madura and wondered  whether it was the sister that was referred to. Strange to say that I was attracted to my brother in law whpo seemed to be a strong and sturdy man in whom all confidences can be reposed and I stuck to him holding his hand.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Editor's note:
1. Little bit of confusion as the bridegroom is referred  to as "Uncle". There is one Uncle in the story who is in Melur house and having a clerk's job. it is possible that this Uncle is getting married in which case this person is not own son of the grandfather of the writer but his brother's son. 
2.  Some things have really changed.The journey from Madura to Chingleput which is described seems to have taken approximately 24 hours. Today Vaigai Express would take about 8 hours to cover this distance.  Panchangams (They are sold only in March or April because Tamil new year is in April. So this journey probably was in March/April 1st week.) were sold for 4 pies. Today, the same Panchangam costs Rs 30 approximately 750 times more and no one, to my knowledge,sells it in Railway station now. 
3. It is difficult to place every one correctly in matters of relationship. However, Let us say Mr A got married to my grandfather's mother's sister. He must be the elder person in the family. His younger brother Mr Doaiswamy  married  Chellammal the eldest sister of my grandfather.  Since it is written that he has vaguely heard of her being in north, she could have been married when my grandfather was small. One can safely assume an age difference of 10 at least in that case between him and his first sister. .    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------        .    

Autobiography of Adhyatma Ratna Kumbakonam C N Guruswami Sarma- Chapter 13 - The Melur School

AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF 

ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)

CHAPTER 13

THE MELUR SCHOOL

One day I was reading with ease a journal styled "Theosophist", a big blue volume loudly and my father was visibly proud after overhearing it. From that day on, another duty was cast on me and that was to read loudly  pages after pages of journals received by my father.He used to fill in the way while I halted over big words by syllables and I read a lot every day. I dare not say that I understood what all I read. In my own little way, I was thinking that I knew Dr. Beasant and others who wrote something in those pages. In a few days, my father thought that it was high time that I was admitted into a proper school as I was nearing six years of age. My uncle took me to the school and gave an age there and got me admitted in the third standard. Both were huge mistakes and they told on my future incidents in my life. Of course, I learnt of these things only very late in my life when nobody could help an initial error. (Ref 1)

The class rooms of the American school painted outside with the pitch black tar was not an inspiring temple of education. It was run by the American Mission and girls and boys sat on the floor or in a row of low benches. master strode then with a cane in his hand and a cigarette between his fingers. There was a whitened blackboard on which he used to write when it suited his fancy. Each of us had a slate where in we had to copy the same. The first day passed without any incident. I was one in the crowd except the uncivilized gazing at me by the other brats there was nothing uncomfortable. of course the sweat on that hot day was terribly uncomfortable.   The next day brought much to me. I was givne a dictation in English and I was given 100/100 and the head master , a buxom man applauded me. Next there was a test in mathematics,some simple addition. I fared second best and no complaints. The third was a test in Tamil. For the life of me , I could not write "RO" (றோ)   or "NO" (னோ) .(Ref 2) and my attempt at taking down the dictation was an utter failure.  I got "infinite"marks for that and that was a big Zero. The head master jumped and swayed back and forth and wanted to know how on earth I was admitted in the third standard.  The class master whispered something in his ears and I caught the words Mr Holten and Inspector of schools. The headmaster calmed and commanded the class teacher that he will be held responsible if I did not improve my calligraphy in Tamil. But Tamil was treating me as if she was a stepmother.  Very fortunately for me,  my uncle and my sister who were reported about my weakness in my mother tongue gave me no end of trouble and some good knockings on the head and impositions and in a short term, for fear of being slapped, I started writing all the curves in Tamil successfully and managed to even read the third reader fluently. The rest of the months up to December in the school was all smooth sailing and I headed the class in the annual examination. In fact, I had earned a double promotion to fifth class which I joined in January. (Ref 3)  

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Editor's notes:

1.The reason for giving a higher age at the time of admission is not clear. It could be that it was a fashion and considered normal for a child who was the son of an Inspector of  Schools to learn alphabets at home and come only for third standard, the lower classes not being very essential. On a personal note, It is somewhat interesting to read my grandfather's criticism about the ill effects of giving wrong age in school at the time of joining as I was admitted in third standard by my grandfather and he actually gave my age one and half years higher than my actual age !.     

2. My grandfather's dislike for the curves in Tamil continued well into his older years as he often used to remark that the Sanskrit script  was far too easy.  He used to say" Just draw a line and continue to write unlike Tamil where in you need to stop and change gear from straight to curve and vice versa". The letters which were mentioned (RO and NO) were written in a different style in the beginning of the century which made things more difficult for him. I  reproduce the older style here Old Tamil letter RO, Old Tamil Letter NO but the reformed RO and NO as shown by me in brackets would have made my grandfather's life easier had he studied in school later.

3. It appears that my grandfather was six when he joined III standard. After completing III standard he had been  promoted to V standard which means when he was 7, he was studying 5th standard. (In today's schools, kids must be studying II standard at that age). Academic  year in those days was probably January to December. Where it is stated  that the matter was reported to sister, we take it as Rajammal who might be 12 then. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------