AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF
ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM CN GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)
CHAPTER 11
THE UNFORGETTABLE MAHASIVARATHRI
During one of those quickly vanishing days and in the midst of the tempest of my father's activities one day came and it was called sivarathri day. In Melur , there was a siva temple (Ref 1). Myself accompanied by my chithi went to the temple in the night and the Lord was introduced to me and His powers explained. One man was bathing the Linga and another dressed it up and the lamps were swayed before the image and flowers cast on it one after another. Nothing was comprehensible to me. I was sitting there gazing at the bright simmering black Linga. I did what others did at the various stages of the Puja but I was not much impressed by this God. But then my chithi explained that it was only a symbol of God and God was every where and had shapes and no shapes. She persisted in telling me that one could see Him. "As what?" I asked. " As you imagined" she said. The answer did not satisfy me. It was past midnight and all had gone to a semi slumber state leaning heavily against the stone pillars in curiously distorted positions of their bodies. I could not sleep for i was gazing a the Linga intently. it did seem to assume various human forms in my imagination. I saw my father's form for a second and then my grandfather's and some weird faces with moustaches and long locks of hair. The lamps faded out and the there was a bright beam of sunlight from the Linga.it was effulgent and almost blinding my sight. I turned to escape from that glare to another angle but the beam pursued me and there was brilliant burning core. after some futile attempts to ward it off and look at things as they appeared to be, I screamed and my chithi came and caught hold of me and said what it was. I exclaimed" Look there. there is the sun" . She laughed. patted me and said that it was pitch dark and people will call me mad if I should say that the sun is there but when I persisted in asking her to see it at that corner she calmed me by saying. " By all means look at it, but don't proclaim it to all". (Ref 2) Suddenly the magnificent scene vanished and I was weeping the first time in those child hood days. After I shed copious tears, I was taken home and laid to sleep. But, i couldn't sleep. That vision was haunting me long even with my closed eyes and unconsciously I shivered but when I woke up for the morning lessons alas! the sight was gone and very rarely in my furture days was it ever brought before my vision but on no occasion so splendid as it was on that Sivarathri day. I could not help running to the temple once in a few days and in that dark sanctum once I found a rat running up the Linga and I found to my disappointment that my idol has only a feet of clay and could not ward off a dirty rat. Any how, in spite of this, the attraction towards Linga continued and whichever temple I visted thereafter i had the vision always that a Lingam at odd moments scintillates bright red hue blinding my vision or so bright that other things are not visible. This incident was communicated to my father. I don't exactly remember what comments it drew from him but fortunately my father never reprimanded me or encouraged me by word or sign.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Editor's note
1. there is at present one Siva temple at melur in the centre of the town almost at the junction of the roads leading to various nearby villages. its location can be seen in google map. This temple is having Draupadi amman as the Goddess and it is said that Bhima fought Keesaka here. So annually the fight is enacted amidst all festivities.
2. We had seen Andalu Chithi earlier only as a mere caretaker of the household (no other adult lady member seemed to have lived there at that time) and taking care of my grandfather's daily needs. In this chapter, she excels in her role as the first Guru of my grandfather. The words she has spoken are clearly indicative of an enormous wisdom and composure and it is not possible for any ordinary person to speak the words she has spoken She must have been hardly 35 at that time and probably have studied just to read and write. She might not have been exposed to the lectures of Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa or Swami Vivekananda but her categorical statement that God is everywhere and in shapes and no shapes.(உருவாய் அருவாய்) is a great teaching by itself. Further when she says "you can see God as you imagined"!!, she has touched the peak of the Hindu philosophy 100% pure and unadulterated. What a convincing summary of the Iswara and Maya states!. The entire Srirudram sings praises about the Lord being (or being seen as ) carpenters, fishermen and even thieves. After all, why should He choose to be a carpenter or a fisherman? because we may choose to see Him like that. To some who may wonder that She might have said it but not really meant it, her instruction"look at it but do not proclaim it" settles the question. Any other person would have said "enough of your imagination, let us go" By confidently saying "By all means look at it, but do not proclaim it" she has revealed that she had actually experienced such things earlier and had kept quiet. (may be in order to avoid criticism or ridicule as a young lady cannot talk out of turn in our households). We salute Andalu Chithi here for her unambiguous statements about Lord and his forms. We do not know how you looked or what you studied, but Shathakoti Pranams in her feet. People like her come rarely and are worth thousand scholars who had memorised books and repeated them under the garb of having erudite knowledge,.
2. We had seen Andalu Chithi earlier only as a mere caretaker of the household (no other adult lady member seemed to have lived there at that time) and taking care of my grandfather's daily needs. In this chapter, she excels in her role as the first Guru of my grandfather. The words she has spoken are clearly indicative of an enormous wisdom and composure and it is not possible for any ordinary person to speak the words she has spoken She must have been hardly 35 at that time and probably have studied just to read and write. She might not have been exposed to the lectures of Shri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa or Swami Vivekananda but her categorical statement that God is everywhere and in shapes and no shapes.(உருவாய் அருவாய்) is a great teaching by itself. Further when she says "you can see God as you imagined"!!, she has touched the peak of the Hindu philosophy 100% pure and unadulterated. What a convincing summary of the Iswara and Maya states!. The entire Srirudram sings praises about the Lord being (or being seen as ) carpenters, fishermen and even thieves. After all, why should He choose to be a carpenter or a fisherman? because we may choose to see Him like that. To some who may wonder that She might have said it but not really meant it, her instruction"look at it but do not proclaim it" settles the question. Any other person would have said "enough of your imagination, let us go" By confidently saying "By all means look at it, but do not proclaim it" she has revealed that she had actually experienced such things earlier and had kept quiet. (may be in order to avoid criticism or ridicule as a young lady cannot talk out of turn in our households). We salute Andalu Chithi here for her unambiguous statements about Lord and his forms. We do not know how you looked or what you studied, but Shathakoti Pranams in her feet. People like her come rarely and are worth thousand scholars who had memorised books and repeated them under the garb of having erudite knowledge,.
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