AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF
ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)
(as rewritten by his grandson)
CHAPTER 1
Shri C N GuruswamiSarma (my grandfather) and
Shrimathi krishnammal Sarma (my grandmother)
Photo taken around 1965 in Kumbakonam
Introduction
ADHYATMA RATNA KUMBAKONAM C N GURUSWAMI SARMA (1900-1968)
(as rewritten by his grandson)
CHAPTER 1
Shri C N GuruswamiSarma (my grandfather) and
Shrimathi krishnammal Sarma (my grandmother)
Photo taken around 1965 in Kumbakonam
Introduction
While I was rummaging through old papers and letters in the old trunk box in Kumbakonam last week , I came across the hand written transcript of my grandfather's (He was addressed by all of us in the household as Guruppa and in this book I may refer to him in that manner) autobiography. I was aware of two files in which my grandfather had filed his autobiography one in English and another in Tamil. Around 1977, I noticed that the English version was in a poor condition due to the poor quality of paper used (He might have written the autobiography in 1960s most probably between 1963 to 1967 during the period he had some free time). My father and myself had taken up the task of copying the autobiography in a different note book. We realised that time itself that my grandfather had not completed his autobiography. Even the Tamil version which he titled "sadasivan padum Thuyar" was not completed when he passes away in 1968. However, We had copied the contents of the file in which English version was written and which covered incidents up to his schooling days and to my sincere belief, my grandfather had not written beyond this time of his life. Possibly he had written but at least the sheets were not filed. In any case even this note book has seen many summers and has started getting eaten by white ants. I thought I should now make a e copy of this book so that the autobiography which my grandfather had so meticulously written is not lost forever. I have started writing it in the blog form and request you to support me in this endeavour by reading it.
I will not shield my disappointment as the Editor that I am unable to give you a complete book. It is like Bharathiar's sinna sankaran kathai which though unarguably is among his best works was never completed.
There is one consolation. It is probably his intent to write about the period which no one knows and leave the rest of the portion (after 1915) not documented so that the others who know about him can very well add their experiences with him. My request to all the elders in the family is to let me have the details about how my grandfather took the major decisions and how he steered through some critical situations in chronological order so that I will, by God's grace, try and fill up the void in the book. Probably it will be an autobiography and a biography if you want to call that way.
I am not going to make any comment about the book nor try to convince the reader about the merits of reading it. It will be impertinent for a person so small in stature and in age to comment about some one who towers over the rest of the people whom I know.
All I request you is to read the book and reflect on the situations which played a part in creation of one of the finest persons by any standard.
Since I am writing in parts, please do have patience with me in case some chapters are delayed.
I trust I have made a good beginning.
I trust I have made a good beginning.
C P Chandrasekaran
(Grandson of the writer)
(Grandson of the writer)
Pune
22nd Nov 2013 CE
Vijaya year Karthigai month Panchami thithi (45th remembrance day of my grandfather-Guruppa)
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Section 1
FOREWORD
Not with a view to record the incidents in an illustrious life, this sketch began; not also because of my life is anything marked by any achievement either peculiar or out of the way, or spectacular in any of its phases that this is attempted;nor even because that it has got any inkling to guide the lives of those who chance to read it at sometime or other; nor even because that if published and circulated it might stand as a book of all ages.
The only intention therefore with which this life sketch is attempted is to show that the travails of the human mind after its cognisance of the world around it is something interesting as it portrays the repercussions of a toiling soul to the various circumstances, impacts with the outside things and persons and its developments and its developments and reactions. It is more in the nature of a study in psychology that this is attempted.
To my mind, it appears that any life history, be it that of a humble man or of a giant intellect looming large in the world's pageant must be interesting to a reader. Certainly there are and bound to be similarity of experiences, similarity in the feelings born out of identical chances in life, and the the similarity in the fight that is put up. After all, every human being is a bundle of sentiments seeking sensations, full of desires, cupidities and ambitions, so called successes and failures and disappointments and fulfillments, some ideals cherished and unaccomplished.
Desperate attempts are made to get the things which elude one's grasp and when one is thrown at bay he engages in artifices to gain the things sought after. World does not applaud such efforts. The falls and rises of one's fortunes does not count much in summing up any one's life incidents. The greater thing is to seek and correlate from the studies of different lives is to get a t the pattern after it had been worked out fully. Such a pattern seems to be almost a tapestry with cunning designs highly interesting, intricate and varied, each pattern surprising us in unexpected lay outs.
Any life in this world is interesting to me and the more I see the life as it is, it looks more entrancing.For instance, there are struggles which are of the greatest intensity in the lives of ordinary people than in the lives of people who are fortunately place well in life purely out of sheer accident. The problem has never been solved as to why some meet their deserts in life and others not. and how like dust we find apparently unworthy people floating prominently on the stream of life while the greater ones weighed on te scales of essential values sink and are not even heard of and remain unsung. Death sometimes is the only factor in those lives which throws up on their remains some posthumous dust. It will be the experience of many that in the lives of "ordinary"people, we have topics for sagas and tragedies that touch one's heart. The premordeal passions of humanity have not changed cannot change from country to country or from time to time. It is because of the unchanging intensity in every being of such passions that we are humans. The same love that thwarted the young man to do feats of valour sometimes ending in unjustifiable murders moves also in the bosoms of the modern young man though now in a civilised age it is not so apparent or even so straight forward. Though such intense human feelings that move men to both noble and ignoble actions, variously labelled as such in various ages as per the degrees of so called civilisations that exist then have now been very much camouflaged in modern times, they remain equally intense and fiery. It is therefore evident that the history of the life of any one human being is as much a saga as that of any other. In evaluating its didactic value, there might be and ought to be differences but as portrayals of the progress of pilgrims on this highway of life every life -be it ever so humble-is an interesting story. After all if one thinks of it, one can fashion one's life on that of another though those lives may put before his mental vision various ends which one might think it is desirable to reach and accomplish. Very rarely do we find that such imitations of a great life, becoming as illustrious or as famous or as accomplished as that of life imitated. One can only attempt to live as Buddha or Christ having read about their lives in detail and being imbued with the ardour which he found after reading their lives. Many have attempted to walk in their paths with a firmness or determination but none had been acclaimed as a Christ or Buddha. Some unknown or even an unaccountable had made a Buddha or a Christ,not merely their mental fervour. Those are types which exist in the springs for action. We can rarely become so big. hence it is anybody can acclaim the truth that the life lived conscientiously as much of the glorious life bearing a cross, as that of Christ who showed the significance of the cross to the world.
These thoughts have impelled me to record the facts of how I awoke to the world and how I also having a place in contemporary history of the human race, however insignificant that place may be, have a story to unfold, not because of the ego in me to record my doing s or make myself immortal -but because I pray that may be disillusionments may make my readers more bold in life and avoid the pitfalls which beset my path and in some moments sympathise with my struggles and tribulations. I wish them to laugh at my failures and weaknesses that made me miss the bus and see what all a sensitive soul thrown into the wilderness of the world had had to undergo and how it sinks almost wantonly into oblivion to escape public derision though at every moment dropping blood from the heart- the heart of Christ who so patiently bore the pain when nailed to the cross(1). A more militant Christ might have rewritten the history of the Roman Empire but then he would not be the Christ the meek, the humble and the holy. He would have gained the world but lost his soul and had he thought of his own glory or success his figure would have long ago been forgotten and his ashes would have -like those of Caesar's - been gathered to stop the hole in a castle wall. The life therefore of any human being has to be evaluated more on its failures in the combat of life and not on successes in the competitive world. Each mind had thought when cornered in peculiar situations such thoughts however humble the soul is worth preservation.
____________________________________________________________________
Editor's note:
1. Reference to Jesus Christ:
what could surprise a casual reader/an acquaintance with my grandfather -Guruppa to many of us- is the almost emotional reference to Christ in this chapter. Not only the reference but the tone is "truly Christian". This emotional attachment to christ though he was a devout Hindu and an advaiti could be better understood if read in the context of his early association with a Christian family . In fact, he had a very marked reverence to Christ and even spoke about the travel of Christ after his crucification and the subsequent resurrection, to Kashmir where he was known as a yogi by name "Isa Krishna" with a belief that could hardly coexist with a Hindu's faith. He once referred to Pope as a true "Jagatguru" as he is virtually worshipped everywhere in the world by Catholics, of course. The derisive language used by the "Pundits" to indicate other religions and the followers (mlechas) was absent in Guruppa's real life conversations also.
These thoughts have impelled me to record the facts of how I awoke to the world and how I also having a place in contemporary history of the human race, however insignificant that place may be, have a story to unfold, not because of the ego in me to record my doing s or make myself immortal -but because I pray that may be disillusionments may make my readers more bold in life and avoid the pitfalls which beset my path and in some moments sympathise with my struggles and tribulations. I wish them to laugh at my failures and weaknesses that made me miss the bus and see what all a sensitive soul thrown into the wilderness of the world had had to undergo and how it sinks almost wantonly into oblivion to escape public derision though at every moment dropping blood from the heart- the heart of Christ who so patiently bore the pain when nailed to the cross(1). A more militant Christ might have rewritten the history of the Roman Empire but then he would not be the Christ the meek, the humble and the holy. He would have gained the world but lost his soul and had he thought of his own glory or success his figure would have long ago been forgotten and his ashes would have -like those of Caesar's - been gathered to stop the hole in a castle wall. The life therefore of any human being has to be evaluated more on its failures in the combat of life and not on successes in the competitive world. Each mind had thought when cornered in peculiar situations such thoughts however humble the soul is worth preservation.
____________________________________________________________________
Editor's note:
1. Reference to Jesus Christ:
what could surprise a casual reader/an acquaintance with my grandfather -Guruppa to many of us- is the almost emotional reference to Christ in this chapter. Not only the reference but the tone is "truly Christian". This emotional attachment to christ though he was a devout Hindu and an advaiti could be better understood if read in the context of his early association with a Christian family . In fact, he had a very marked reverence to Christ and even spoke about the travel of Christ after his crucification and the subsequent resurrection, to Kashmir where he was known as a yogi by name "Isa Krishna" with a belief that could hardly coexist with a Hindu's faith. He once referred to Pope as a true "Jagatguru" as he is virtually worshipped everywhere in the world by Catholics, of course. The derisive language used by the "Pundits" to indicate other religions and the followers (mlechas) was absent in Guruppa's real life conversations also.
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