Role model in my profession -Dr C G Ravi
If some one's smile can disarm you and make you let your closely guarded secrets come gushing out in a moment, then I know one person who had that smile. I know him closely and in fact I am fortunate to have him as my uncle. (Sithappa in Tamil is father's younger brother).
The earliest memory of my sithappa is probably when I was 4 and Ravi sithappa was working in AIR Delhi after his Engineering course in MIT chennai. I do not remember much but it is something to do with my trying to dance to the tune of a song in front of him in Kumbakonam. My grandmother proclaimed that it was the best performance depicting Nataraja performed by any child in the world. The fact was that I leaned on the wall while lifting one of my legs to achieve the posture of Lord Nataraja. I think my grandmother did not see it or did she?
My moving to Pollachi to study 4th standard and 5th standard coincided with my Sithappa's marriage and his moving to US subsequently for doing M.S. I returned to Kumbakonam for studying -from 6th standard- in The Native High School and our contact resumed through his fortnightly letters. During this time, I became aware of my grandmother's love for my Sithappa. Whenever his letters used to arrive in the Airmail, my grandfather would ceremoniously cut it open with the paper knife and then someone (usually me) read the letter aloud. Written in a crystal clear handwriting and in black ball pen, the letter written in Tamil was well thought out and contained some reference about every one. For some reason, half way though the letter, my grandmother would start crying and letter reading had to stop and resume at a convenient time.
The letter contained several anecdotes. I learnt about IBM from his letters as my Sithappa worked there. I learnt about Hudson river, the schools, the people in USA through the letters. My grandfather would ask me to read them several times on many days. In fact, till another letter arrived which usually was a fortnight, the earlier letter used to be the official document and every piece of information was extracted from it. I committed most of the letters to my memory as different people would ask questions on the letter at different points of time. Apart from relatives, my grandfather discussed the details of the letter among his clients and friends. In fact I still remember the addresses 6A Flannery Avenue, Poughkeeepsie. and 17 A University Heights, Burlington Vermont where my Sithappa and his family lived in USA from 1962 to 1967.
My grandfather told me a lot about every one of his sons. Naturally,he told me a lot about Ravi sithappa. "Ravi used to get nothing less than 100 in Maths. If he attends exam, outcome is like coconut broken in two. It can be only 100 and nothing else". It seems Sithappa used to be afraid of crackers and hid himself during Deepavali to avoid firing the crackers. He only used to sit beside his father wearing new clothes but never used to go with his other brothers on the road. However,later, when I asked sithappa, he did not agree on this.
Apart from the letters, once in six months or so, a phone call would come to Lalitha Pharmacy about six houses from my grandfather's house. A person would come and call my grand father and grandmother and I used to accompany them. After half an hour of waiting, the phone call would come through and Sithappa would start talking. The voice would come feeble and one had to strain to hear what they were saying.For some reason again, my grand mother would only cry and would not be able to speak. I never understood the reason why my grandmother cried when precious minutes (those days three minutes were the time for a call and getting extension would be a problem) were getting wasted.
Ravi Sithappa's younger brother that is Balu Sithappa went to UK in 1963. While going, he sent all his belongings to Kumbakonam,.We opened the box and found a Grundig Tape recorder. It also contained audio tapes. we used to play them and listened to the songs sung by my father accompanied by Balu Sithappa. We wrote to Ravi Sithappa about our new toy and he sent us tapes in which he used to speak about his trips to various cities in USA. Sometimes my Chithi also joined in those verbal reports. Apart from the letters, these tapes became our sources of information. Indianapolis now was a city for me not some police man's name. His voice was so clear that you could be doubtful whether it was a professional recording or an amateur. Oh!! that was the first thing I learned no, tried to learn, from my sithappa. Either you are the best in whatever you do or do not do it. He would never do a thing half heartedly or for some one else. He knew that I was not like that.He used to refer to that jokingly.
My sithappa sent a Philips transistor to my grandfather as a present through some muslim merchant. It was white in colour. My grandfather kept it near his bed side and listened to the morning news and late night Sangeetha Sammelan concerts from it. Earlier it was the HGEC Radio and now it was the transistor. In those days when transistor radios were rare, the transistor attracted everyone's attention.
In 1967, my Sithappa and his family consisting of Sithi and their two children returned to India. He got himself transferred to IBM factory in Bombay and he told us that he took the decision of returning as my grandfather was getting old and started having some health problems. He brought me a book on Africa and a shirt stitched to my size which I preserved for almost 14 years !!
In June 1967, I was with them in Kumbakonam and I was observing how they were coping with the sudden change from the life in USA to the village life in Kumbakonam. Sithappa never gave an impression as if he missed it. He brought a FIAT car from Chennai and happily moved around Kumbakonam in what my cousin called "night dress" (Dhoti). He used to speak in Tamil naturally and not in affected tone typical of US returned natives.He once chided me for writing letter in English to my father and told me that I should write in mother tongue. After that, I never wrote my personal letters in English.
In June 1967, I was with them in Kumbakonam and I was observing how they were coping with the sudden change from the life in USA to the village life in Kumbakonam. Sithappa never gave an impression as if he missed it. He brought a FIAT car from Chennai and happily moved around Kumbakonam in what my cousin called "night dress" (Dhoti). He used to speak in Tamil naturally and not in affected tone typical of US returned natives.He once chided me for writing letter in English to my father and told me that I should write in mother tongue. After that, I never wrote my personal letters in English.
My Sithappa spoke to me about my studies with a lot of concern. I was no more the boy doing the Nataraja dance but I was studying 9th standard. He appreciated me openly for my general knowledge. Thanks to my grandfather and his insistence that I should read The Hindu daily, I was very well informed of the Vietnam war and other developments. Some how, I had developed a leaning towards the leftists which my sithappa did not like. He was probably not a leftist even in his heart. Even later when in my essays or in my poems I wrote about the exploitation of the poor in Mumbai , he saw it as a sign of immaturity and an oversimplification of the life. For him, the city presented opportunities equally to all. If some people remained poor and on the edges, it is because that they did not take the plunge.
In 1968, during Dasara my sithappa came and he took my grand father to Tiruchi. It was on October 24th that I accompanied my grandfather in the car. Sithappa drove and I should tell you that he was a very safe driver. He left us in Tiruchi and then left for Chennai. In a month, on November 24th, my grandfather passed away. My sithappa came with his family and stayed in Kumbakonam with my grandmother for all the thirteen days. It must have been difficult for a person holding a senior post in IBM to be away from office for so many days. But he did it. He made his family also stay there and participate in all the rites. There were some skirmishes and angry exchanges between the three brothers who were present in Kumbakonam for the rites which usually happen in any family when the patriarch passes away. I was pained to see them but honestly, I could not see any fault in the way my Sithappa handled the issues. In fact, the starting point of the issue was when he volunteered to drive to Tiruchi to drop my Periappa and his family. He must have been pained in his heart that his efforts to maintain good relations were getting thwarted due to something or other but he never showed it in his face. He was very caring but not unduly emotional. He tried his best to sort out the issues and at some point of time if it is not possible, you could see that he left them to their own ways and remained aloof. He was attached and at some time when things went out of hand, became detached. It was difficult for people to understand this. But if you understand, his actions made sense.
A year after my grandfather passed away, my sithappa took my grandmother with him to Bombay. I joined B.E and on January 26th 1970, while starting for the IBM republic day function in the evening, my sithappa had a stroke and got admitted to hospital. We got the news and were very much worried. By Guruvayurappan's grace he got well by March and resumed his work. Father, mother,myself and my brothers travelled to Mumbai in May 1970 to see him and be with him for some time.
I saw my sithappa as an Executive for the first time. I had always seen him in Dhoti cracking jokes but here he was different. He was always dressed in typical dark colour trousers and white half shirt with IBM blue tie. His driver Diraviyam came at 8 AM and he was out with his small business bag. He would return by 6 PM. He ensured that his driver came back home at 9 AM to pick us up and take us to one spot every day. He had made a detailed schedule for us to follow. We never worried about the distance or fare. We had his car at our disposal. I do not know whether anyone would do it today. people who do not know him sometimes told me that he was miserly but according to me he was generous to a fault.
My father along with my brothers and my grandmother returned to Kumbakonam and I stayed back and had the good fortune of being close to my sithappa for some more time. As I was in Engineering, he used to talk to me about the subjects. His knowledge about the academic side was amazing and up to date. He bought me a Kohinoor Geometry box when he learnt that I was using the one from my cousin. It cost 110 Rs which in those days was quite high.
In June first week, we had IBM get together. Sithappa was secretary of the club and he had to deliver the welcome speech. Due to the stroke, he had some problem while speaking especially when he had to pronounce long words. Every evening, he gave me the script and practised the speech in front of me. On the IBM day, he welcomed and I think one could not hear any jarring note in his speech.I learnt that when you want to be on stage you need to be perfect. Later in my life, I became a trainer and applied this aspect to my job.
I continued my engineering and sithappa did visit Kumbakonam frequently partly to see my grandmother and partly just to enjoy the Kumbakonam atmosphere, whatever that meant. We sometimes barged into theatres in the last minute and saw MGR movies (one of them was Nam nadu) which as an "intellectual" I thought were beneath one's taste. But sithappa was always enjoying the "popular" scenes. one could never think he was a computer engineer and an executive in IBM when he was discussing film songs or sequences. He was at home imitating TMS or Sirkazhi. He encouraged us when we indulged in harmless mimicry of the people known to us. I learnt to unwind and enjoy movies and concerts from him. Similarly, whenever, I was with him in Shanmukananda hall for the concerts, I could see he gave his attention totally to the concert and truly enjoyed the whole performance. His knowledge of music was good though he did not sing and so he could appreciate the finer points without bias. He could sing an entire Kalyani varnam in low tone which would give any singer a run for his money in the purity of rendering. he was equally well versed with some songs from movies like Sound of Music. (I remember his faithful rendering of Edelweiss). He liked K L Saigal and Talat Mehmood and sang "Ro ro bi tha" often. When he was the President of IBM club, he got Talat Mahmood to sing the song on the stage. He also liked Marathi songs. I remember he used to sing "Ghanshyam sundara sridhara" by Panditrao Nagarkar and Lataji" in the rag Bhupali. I think he liked Mukesh much better than any other singer though I do not know the reason.
He had a very unique sense of humour. His humour was invariably based on words rather than on characters. For instance, he sightly twisted the Tamil word for University (பல்கலை கழகம்) to mean Dental hospital (பல் களை கழகம்). He once ran over a hen which crossed the road near his house and people in the slum came out and demanded fifteen rupees, which he paid. Afterwards, he used to call the hens on the road as "suicide squad". He depended on "puns" extensively and his delivery was so quick that it was difficult to catch the meaning immediately. He invariably built on the humorous speeches of others and polished them and used them. This includes nick names for people including some of our relatives. For example, I related that one of my relatives always looked beyond my head when he spoke to me indicating some indifference and said that he always looked at "sky line" when he spoke. Afterwards, he was referred to as "skyline" only by all of us. Similarly, an electrician who always said "I will come just now" on phone ("abhi atha hun") became "abhi" for us. But he never indulged in words with double meaning for jokes or even commented on any community or a person.
In 1973, I was doing summer training in BHEL Tiruchi (where I worked later as an Engineer). Sithappa had planned the upanayanam of my cousin in Chennai. We were in two minds. I did not want to go as I would miss my training in BHEL. He came to Kumbakonam convinced all of us and took my grandmother and my brother with him to make sure we would all come. From Tiruchi, I travelled with my periappa and his family but when we were about to alight my periappa told me to go ahead as they would not come now. He instructed me to tell that I had come alone. The car driver spotted me in the platform and took me to the place where Upanayanam would take place next day. Sithappa asked predictably as I entered, "where is Anna? (my periappa)". I said that I had no idea. I thought I had done a great job. Sithappa looked at me and told "Sekar, you are not capable of telling lies and so do not try. I can make out from your body language that they have come and that is enough for me".
I completed my B.E and got the summer internship in IBM in May 1974. For a person who had not used a phone nor seen a posh office this was like an inter planetary travel. Here, I saw my sithappa in his true elements. I used to travel with him in his car ( I was staying with his family for almost six months after my B.E) and since it was a car pool, One Mr Roy and one Mr Sengupta used to come with us. Both were senior people one from manufacturing and another from Quality. My Sithappa was also in Quality but he was managing PTL and CCEAL (Product testing Lab and Central components evaluation and acceptance Lab). I learnt how much value he had for building quality into the product. He would always argue for incorporating some feature which would bring in more reliability and others would invariably argue citing costs. I especially remember one evening when Sengupta was telling"But Ravi, it costs ten dollars" and Sithappa was saying "but that would eliminate the possibility of fire" Once when every one got down and we were left alone, I asked him why he persisted in the face of so much opposition. He told me that he stood for customer and would try his best to get the product built in his way. "But, (he showed his thumb as if trying to bend it) if people refuse to listen and become adamant he would stop". I think it is a very practical way of looking at things. In companies, one cannot go on arguing though you are right. I now think I could have applied this lesson better in my own life.
One evening when he was driving from factory it seems he absentmindedly entered the one way near his house and promptly got a challan from the Policeman standing in the intersection asking him to appear in Bandra court next day. I was with him when we went to the court. As it took some time for his case to be heard, there was a hint from the Police constable that this could be settled "amicably". But, Sithapaa just smiled and went to the box. he took the oath and then when Judge asked him "Do you accept that you were guilty" said yes and paid the fine of 400 Rs (equivalent to 5000 Rs today) and came out. It must have taken us more than an hour and many would say that this would have been avoided had he been pliable enough to settle it outside. He was clear about his principles. No compromise. My respect for him increased multifold after this incident. Speaking of "accepting guilt", I once confided in him that I felt guilty that I could not secure admission for my brother in Annamalai university as I was in Mumbai doing M.E that time. He took exception to that word. He said "never use such strong words against yourself". I think he had a clear concept of self esteem behind the external appearance of humility
In IBM, I worked within earshot of his cabin. I had entered his cabin many times. He used to keep a clean table. No papers. No files. Just one sheet in front of him. That is all. In twenty days of training, I had three files and papers spread allover the place but he was heading Quality assurance Lab and had no papers in front of him !!. He never wasted a single minute. He never took lunch in canteen though it was very good. he took from the small box which my sithi packed in the morning. So, his efficiency must have been high. He had no respect for high sounding words. He told me to learn as much as I can about the way IBM worked. he was very proud of IBM and its culture. He would typically wear the ID card even after office hours and would never encourage any criticism of IBM. (especially its commercial policies). He would encourage me to read "Inbusmag" which was the office newsletter and often called himself as an IBMer. I have to relate one incident to illustrate how much respect he commanded in the office. As I travelled with him in the car daily, the security inspector thought that I was just another person in his car pool. One day, he accosted me and started to give me some advice. "Look, you look like a Tamilian and seem to be a trainee here. Do as I tell you. That man with whom you are coming is a big shot here. You catch hold of him. He is one of the nicest people in the company.He belongs to Thanjavur,our place, do you get it!!. Fall at his feet and somehow get a job in IBM. Who gives 1000 Rs salary for a B.E? and that too if you take lunch in canteen you need not take anything for dinner. That much quantity you can eat. you can easily send 700 Rs home" I related this to sithappa the same day evening and he laughed heartily.
He did not believe in caste system. Once, he told me frankly that he did not mind inviting my non brahmin friends and serving them dinner when many of his senior relatives would have scorned at that idea. My friends Selvaraju and Jayaraman were in Navy that time and they used to come to his house on some sundays and we also had dinner together. He did not believe in astrology. He told me that if astrology is true, then how one would explain the differences between twins? he would cite example from my own family and illustrate the doubtful nature of astrology with the significant differences between my twin brothers. In spite of this scientific bent of mind, at times he did indulge in getting forecasts told by Nadi experts or finger print experts.Once he shared with me the accurate predictions of an astrologer who only saw his thumb and predicted correctly about many things. He also believed in the malefic effects of monthly cycles on the way women did their work. In religion, he was a believer but not ritualistic. Many times he would tell me "belief should be here" (showing his heart). I would pull the legs of people who believe that wearing silk dhoti would please God or having silver vessel for Puja is considered auspicious and he used to support it. However, he participated enthusiastically in the Pujas performed at home and even decorated the mandap on the days of varalakshmi Puja. He had some belief in "sagunam" or "signs" and had related to me some incidents which had shown him that something bad was to happen. (when he met me after my grandfather's demise). For some time, he kept an hour of prayer on sundays (in the memory of my grandfather who died on a sunday) when we all would pray together. I think, he was influenced by the American protestant preachers who combined a lot of energy in their approach to God and infused a lot of optimism. I remember he liked the preacher character in "Poseidon adventure" which we saw together. I have not seen him talking about any Guruji or swamiji but I think he had a lot of respect for Sengalipuram Deekshithar as well as Kanchi Mahaperiyava. I learnt from him that while a totally logical approach to religion is not practical, we can push the logic to the extent possible and question our practices. what remains out of that investigation is what is probably sustainable by us. Of course, this is for every individual to decide. He approved certain western values and disagreed with me when I tried to tell him the typical statements we have been hearing about the loose morals of American women, He defended them saying that they were as moral as anyone else and some Indians did take advantage of them only to find that the girls there could be tough. Friendliness cannot be an indication of loose morals, according to him.
My grandmother was always curious to know how much he actually he earned. One day it seems she asked him, "Ravi, many relatives ask me how much you earn. It is embarrassing for me to say that I do not know. Tell me what is your salary?". Sithappa refused to tell his salary in spite of his tremendous respect and love for his mother. He said that it was confidential and as per the rules he could not divulge his salary. Period. I was amazed at this stand when this incident was related to me by my grandmother. I duly copied him and when I went home after my internship. My mother asked me how much they paid me in IBM. I said that I would not say because it is confidential. My mother scolded me and told me that I had changed so much after going to Bombay. (See !! how much he has changed ! This is the effect of going to that city !!) Ultimately, I told her that I was paid 250 Rs!!. Things do not work the same way for every one, I guess.
After I passed B.E and before joining M.E I went through a horrible period of deciding whether to do M.E or hunt for a job. Each day used to be hell for me. I could neither decide and start going for interviews nor start applying fro M.E. I applied for BITS Pilani, got it went to Pilani and returned as I was not satisfied with the curriculum. When I look back, I do not know how reckless I was in those days. I was in Bombay and my only lifeline was my sithappa and of course sithi. Finally, I got VJTI in August and was happy to get in an Institution. I had to pay 700 Rs for admission. I ran out of money and asked the amount from my sithappa as a loan. He asked me to take the money from my maternal uncle (mama) which I did but till today I do not know why he did not give me this amount which was nothing compared to what he was doing for me like hosting me and feeding me for the period from May to August apart from taking me to office and dropping me back at his home. He might have thought "Enough is enough". That is true. Everyone has a limit for generosity and patience. One cannot keep on expecting others to help.
He was very helpful when it came to studies. In my final year, I was given the topic "Electrical and electronic control of machines" and I wrote to sithappa for help. He asked me to get in touch with Prof G P Rao in IIT Kanpur and get his advice. Prof Ganti Prasada Rao gave me almost full circuit and I did my project without any problem on thyristor control of DC machines. He was having information about many Professors on his finger tips. In VJTI Prof Kulkarni of High Voltage lab was his friend. Prof Jayaraman who wrote Fortran IV book was also his friend. How he could keep up such friendships I do not know.
When I was doing my M.E we studied about hypothesis testing and I would boast about how hypothesis tests would show the fakes from genuine. I was surprised when he told me all about t test and chi square and backed the statements with results from his lab. I recall that he wrote a paper "Quality of professional grade electronic components in India" for IEEE and was comfortable with all analytical tools which we were taught in M.E.
During my M.E, I would invariably meet him in his house in Bandra atleast once in a week (sithi would call me if I do not go) and I do not recall a single occasion when I have not been enlightened about something new in my academic side. He introduced me to his best friends and MIT alumni and always told me that "you should have push to come up". He was of the view that I lacked initiative of Punjabis and Gujarathis. His assessment stands true even today. Even in my own profession, I think I could have been more aggressive in marketing my capabilities.
He was very appreciative of my interest in literature both English and Tamil. he would consult on some speeches and writings occasionally though I did not contribute much. While I could discuss on Jayakanthan or Aldous Huxley any time, I was lacking in manual dexterity. I was clumsy with tools. I used the wrong tools and took more time even to execute simple tasks. I was aware that these impeded my progress in Engineering as a discipline not to speak of marks in some practical subjects. He would make fun of me every time I tried to do something in his car or in his house. I had devised a way to console myself in those times and that is to read Wodehouse. The more you find fault with me, the more Wodehouse reading I would do. No wonder I finished all that is to read in Wodehouse in about two years when I was in Bombay for my M.E!!.
He knew that I was working hard and was not surprised when I got distinction. He was disappointed when I got rejected in Telco and Larsen and Toubro and advised me to crack Central Engineering Services Examination. I did not do well in the examination. I joined a company in Nashik and for two months I worked there though I did not like the job.
During my stay in his house, I had never found him domineering. Even if I had said something out of place to my Sithi or to my cousins (which happened very often) he would just ignore it or turn the whole thing into a joke.
One fine morning, (I think it was 12th January) I got a call from my Sithi that I got appointment letter from BHEL and was asked to join in Tiruchirappalli on or before 20th January. Next morning, I packed up and left Nashik. On 17th January 1977, Sithappa drove me to VT station and saw me off in Madras Mail which leaves at 11 PM. He was almost 50 then and need not have driven all the way to station at a time close to midnight. I think that was his way of showing his love. He gave me a tie which I can clip on and do not have to tie (easy for me as you need not be dexterous to clip a tie on your collar).
After I joined BHEL, he paid a visit to the computer centre as Executive from CMC (IBM had then been closed) and he came to my room. He found it spartan and commented about how he used to live in AIR colony in a similar accommodation. He was very happy that I was working on Nuclear project and when I went to Bombay and participated in meetings with BARC people, I found him to be a great listener of how we were doing everything in India.
He discontinued his Ph.D when he returned to India. He was somewhat disappointed that he could not complete it. He did complete it and finally became Dr. C G Ravi. Hats off to his tenacity and perseverance. He was considered as one of the best resources in Fibre Optics by everyone almost till the day he passed away in 2008. He was awarded the outstanding Alumni award by MIT some time in 2000.
He was one person who was very optimistic about India. Once, when he saw that I was carrying "Wings of Fire" by our Ex President Dr Kalam, he appreciated me and supported Dr Abdul Kalam's views about India becoming super power by 2020 and said that it would happen. (Incidentally, Dr Abdul kalam also studied in MIT.) He dismissed any pessimistic statement by saying " I think he has reached middle age!!".
Professionally, I learnt all that I can learn from him till my visit to BARC. He came for my marriage and in 1983 I shifted to Bombay for, what many would say later, a reckless change in my job. After that, our relations did not continue so well. There could be many reasons and I am not going to think about them now and deviate from the topic I have taken to write.
As this blog is about my Uncle, I did not write about my aunt (sithi). I do not think I can describe in writing the love and care I received from her. She had high expectations from me and was vocal about them. I was very independent in nature and hence I could not live up to her expectations. But, as far as love is concerned, I think she was very spontaneous and had taken lot of trouble to solve my problems.
Sithappa passed away in September 2008. I met him for the last time in July 2008 after hearing about his illness. He asked me how he looked. For me, he seemed to be OK. Probably, something was seriously wrong. Well, that was it. I was lucky to have interacted with him and hopefully learnt some valuable things in the process.
To sum up, I learnt the following things from my sithappa who I think can be called my role model and I applied these to the extent of my ability in my profession of management consulting .
1. Be punctual.
2. Wear appropriate dress.
3. Thoroughly prepare before you speak.
4. Do not raise your voice. Place the facts and then talk.
5. Be aggressive when you have to be,
6. Do not placate your boss for getting a raise. Your work will get you the raise.
7. Take interest in professional societies.
8. Help others especially your alumni to get a job.
9. Be humble when praised.
10. Do not compromise your values. Hold your head high.
If he could read this, I just wanted to say, "Thanks to you Sithappa".
I do not know why I did not say it even once earlier.
A year after my grandfather passed away, my sithappa took my grandmother with him to Bombay. I joined B.E and on January 26th 1970, while starting for the IBM republic day function in the evening, my sithappa had a stroke and got admitted to hospital. We got the news and were very much worried. By Guruvayurappan's grace he got well by March and resumed his work. Father, mother,myself and my brothers travelled to Mumbai in May 1970 to see him and be with him for some time.
I saw my sithappa as an Executive for the first time. I had always seen him in Dhoti cracking jokes but here he was different. He was always dressed in typical dark colour trousers and white half shirt with IBM blue tie. His driver Diraviyam came at 8 AM and he was out with his small business bag. He would return by 6 PM. He ensured that his driver came back home at 9 AM to pick us up and take us to one spot every day. He had made a detailed schedule for us to follow. We never worried about the distance or fare. We had his car at our disposal. I do not know whether anyone would do it today. people who do not know him sometimes told me that he was miserly but according to me he was generous to a fault.
My father along with my brothers and my grandmother returned to Kumbakonam and I stayed back and had the good fortune of being close to my sithappa for some more time. As I was in Engineering, he used to talk to me about the subjects. His knowledge about the academic side was amazing and up to date. He bought me a Kohinoor Geometry box when he learnt that I was using the one from my cousin. It cost 110 Rs which in those days was quite high.
In June first week, we had IBM get together. Sithappa was secretary of the club and he had to deliver the welcome speech. Due to the stroke, he had some problem while speaking especially when he had to pronounce long words. Every evening, he gave me the script and practised the speech in front of me. On the IBM day, he welcomed and I think one could not hear any jarring note in his speech.I learnt that when you want to be on stage you need to be perfect. Later in my life, I became a trainer and applied this aspect to my job.
I continued my engineering and sithappa did visit Kumbakonam frequently partly to see my grandmother and partly just to enjoy the Kumbakonam atmosphere, whatever that meant. We sometimes barged into theatres in the last minute and saw MGR movies (one of them was Nam nadu) which as an "intellectual" I thought were beneath one's taste. But sithappa was always enjoying the "popular" scenes. one could never think he was a computer engineer and an executive in IBM when he was discussing film songs or sequences. He was at home imitating TMS or Sirkazhi. He encouraged us when we indulged in harmless mimicry of the people known to us. I learnt to unwind and enjoy movies and concerts from him. Similarly, whenever, I was with him in Shanmukananda hall for the concerts, I could see he gave his attention totally to the concert and truly enjoyed the whole performance. His knowledge of music was good though he did not sing and so he could appreciate the finer points without bias. He could sing an entire Kalyani varnam in low tone which would give any singer a run for his money in the purity of rendering. he was equally well versed with some songs from movies like Sound of Music. (I remember his faithful rendering of Edelweiss). He liked K L Saigal and Talat Mehmood and sang "Ro ro bi tha" often. When he was the President of IBM club, he got Talat Mahmood to sing the song on the stage. He also liked Marathi songs. I remember he used to sing "Ghanshyam sundara sridhara" by Panditrao Nagarkar and Lataji" in the rag Bhupali. I think he liked Mukesh much better than any other singer though I do not know the reason.
He had a very unique sense of humour. His humour was invariably based on words rather than on characters. For instance, he sightly twisted the Tamil word for University (பல்கலை கழகம்) to mean Dental hospital (பல் களை கழகம்). He once ran over a hen which crossed the road near his house and people in the slum came out and demanded fifteen rupees, which he paid. Afterwards, he used to call the hens on the road as "suicide squad". He depended on "puns" extensively and his delivery was so quick that it was difficult to catch the meaning immediately. He invariably built on the humorous speeches of others and polished them and used them. This includes nick names for people including some of our relatives. For example, I related that one of my relatives always looked beyond my head when he spoke to me indicating some indifference and said that he always looked at "sky line" when he spoke. Afterwards, he was referred to as "skyline" only by all of us. Similarly, an electrician who always said "I will come just now" on phone ("abhi atha hun") became "abhi" for us. But he never indulged in words with double meaning for jokes or even commented on any community or a person.
In 1973, I was doing summer training in BHEL Tiruchi (where I worked later as an Engineer). Sithappa had planned the upanayanam of my cousin in Chennai. We were in two minds. I did not want to go as I would miss my training in BHEL. He came to Kumbakonam convinced all of us and took my grandmother and my brother with him to make sure we would all come. From Tiruchi, I travelled with my periappa and his family but when we were about to alight my periappa told me to go ahead as they would not come now. He instructed me to tell that I had come alone. The car driver spotted me in the platform and took me to the place where Upanayanam would take place next day. Sithappa asked predictably as I entered, "where is Anna? (my periappa)". I said that I had no idea. I thought I had done a great job. Sithappa looked at me and told "Sekar, you are not capable of telling lies and so do not try. I can make out from your body language that they have come and that is enough for me".
I completed my B.E and got the summer internship in IBM in May 1974. For a person who had not used a phone nor seen a posh office this was like an inter planetary travel. Here, I saw my sithappa in his true elements. I used to travel with him in his car ( I was staying with his family for almost six months after my B.E) and since it was a car pool, One Mr Roy and one Mr Sengupta used to come with us. Both were senior people one from manufacturing and another from Quality. My Sithappa was also in Quality but he was managing PTL and CCEAL (Product testing Lab and Central components evaluation and acceptance Lab). I learnt how much value he had for building quality into the product. He would always argue for incorporating some feature which would bring in more reliability and others would invariably argue citing costs. I especially remember one evening when Sengupta was telling"But Ravi, it costs ten dollars" and Sithappa was saying "but that would eliminate the possibility of fire" Once when every one got down and we were left alone, I asked him why he persisted in the face of so much opposition. He told me that he stood for customer and would try his best to get the product built in his way. "But, (he showed his thumb as if trying to bend it) if people refuse to listen and become adamant he would stop". I think it is a very practical way of looking at things. In companies, one cannot go on arguing though you are right. I now think I could have applied this lesson better in my own life.
One evening when he was driving from factory it seems he absentmindedly entered the one way near his house and promptly got a challan from the Policeman standing in the intersection asking him to appear in Bandra court next day. I was with him when we went to the court. As it took some time for his case to be heard, there was a hint from the Police constable that this could be settled "amicably". But, Sithapaa just smiled and went to the box. he took the oath and then when Judge asked him "Do you accept that you were guilty" said yes and paid the fine of 400 Rs (equivalent to 5000 Rs today) and came out. It must have taken us more than an hour and many would say that this would have been avoided had he been pliable enough to settle it outside. He was clear about his principles. No compromise. My respect for him increased multifold after this incident. Speaking of "accepting guilt", I once confided in him that I felt guilty that I could not secure admission for my brother in Annamalai university as I was in Mumbai doing M.E that time. He took exception to that word. He said "never use such strong words against yourself". I think he had a clear concept of self esteem behind the external appearance of humility
In IBM, I worked within earshot of his cabin. I had entered his cabin many times. He used to keep a clean table. No papers. No files. Just one sheet in front of him. That is all. In twenty days of training, I had three files and papers spread allover the place but he was heading Quality assurance Lab and had no papers in front of him !!. He never wasted a single minute. He never took lunch in canteen though it was very good. he took from the small box which my sithi packed in the morning. So, his efficiency must have been high. He had no respect for high sounding words. He told me to learn as much as I can about the way IBM worked. he was very proud of IBM and its culture. He would typically wear the ID card even after office hours and would never encourage any criticism of IBM. (especially its commercial policies). He would encourage me to read "Inbusmag" which was the office newsletter and often called himself as an IBMer. I have to relate one incident to illustrate how much respect he commanded in the office. As I travelled with him in the car daily, the security inspector thought that I was just another person in his car pool. One day, he accosted me and started to give me some advice. "Look, you look like a Tamilian and seem to be a trainee here. Do as I tell you. That man with whom you are coming is a big shot here. You catch hold of him. He is one of the nicest people in the company.He belongs to Thanjavur,our place, do you get it!!. Fall at his feet and somehow get a job in IBM. Who gives 1000 Rs salary for a B.E? and that too if you take lunch in canteen you need not take anything for dinner. That much quantity you can eat. you can easily send 700 Rs home" I related this to sithappa the same day evening and he laughed heartily.
He did not believe in caste system. Once, he told me frankly that he did not mind inviting my non brahmin friends and serving them dinner when many of his senior relatives would have scorned at that idea. My friends Selvaraju and Jayaraman were in Navy that time and they used to come to his house on some sundays and we also had dinner together. He did not believe in astrology. He told me that if astrology is true, then how one would explain the differences between twins? he would cite example from my own family and illustrate the doubtful nature of astrology with the significant differences between my twin brothers. In spite of this scientific bent of mind, at times he did indulge in getting forecasts told by Nadi experts or finger print experts.Once he shared with me the accurate predictions of an astrologer who only saw his thumb and predicted correctly about many things. He also believed in the malefic effects of monthly cycles on the way women did their work. In religion, he was a believer but not ritualistic. Many times he would tell me "belief should be here" (showing his heart). I would pull the legs of people who believe that wearing silk dhoti would please God or having silver vessel for Puja is considered auspicious and he used to support it. However, he participated enthusiastically in the Pujas performed at home and even decorated the mandap on the days of varalakshmi Puja. He had some belief in "sagunam" or "signs" and had related to me some incidents which had shown him that something bad was to happen. (when he met me after my grandfather's demise). For some time, he kept an hour of prayer on sundays (in the memory of my grandfather who died on a sunday) when we all would pray together. I think, he was influenced by the American protestant preachers who combined a lot of energy in their approach to God and infused a lot of optimism. I remember he liked the preacher character in "Poseidon adventure" which we saw together. I have not seen him talking about any Guruji or swamiji but I think he had a lot of respect for Sengalipuram Deekshithar as well as Kanchi Mahaperiyava. I learnt from him that while a totally logical approach to religion is not practical, we can push the logic to the extent possible and question our practices. what remains out of that investigation is what is probably sustainable by us. Of course, this is for every individual to decide. He approved certain western values and disagreed with me when I tried to tell him the typical statements we have been hearing about the loose morals of American women, He defended them saying that they were as moral as anyone else and some Indians did take advantage of them only to find that the girls there could be tough. Friendliness cannot be an indication of loose morals, according to him.
My grandmother was always curious to know how much he actually he earned. One day it seems she asked him, "Ravi, many relatives ask me how much you earn. It is embarrassing for me to say that I do not know. Tell me what is your salary?". Sithappa refused to tell his salary in spite of his tremendous respect and love for his mother. He said that it was confidential and as per the rules he could not divulge his salary. Period. I was amazed at this stand when this incident was related to me by my grandmother. I duly copied him and when I went home after my internship. My mother asked me how much they paid me in IBM. I said that I would not say because it is confidential. My mother scolded me and told me that I had changed so much after going to Bombay. (See !! how much he has changed ! This is the effect of going to that city !!) Ultimately, I told her that I was paid 250 Rs!!. Things do not work the same way for every one, I guess.
After I passed B.E and before joining M.E I went through a horrible period of deciding whether to do M.E or hunt for a job. Each day used to be hell for me. I could neither decide and start going for interviews nor start applying fro M.E. I applied for BITS Pilani, got it went to Pilani and returned as I was not satisfied with the curriculum. When I look back, I do not know how reckless I was in those days. I was in Bombay and my only lifeline was my sithappa and of course sithi. Finally, I got VJTI in August and was happy to get in an Institution. I had to pay 700 Rs for admission. I ran out of money and asked the amount from my sithappa as a loan. He asked me to take the money from my maternal uncle (mama) which I did but till today I do not know why he did not give me this amount which was nothing compared to what he was doing for me like hosting me and feeding me for the period from May to August apart from taking me to office and dropping me back at his home. He might have thought "Enough is enough". That is true. Everyone has a limit for generosity and patience. One cannot keep on expecting others to help.
He was very helpful when it came to studies. In my final year, I was given the topic "Electrical and electronic control of machines" and I wrote to sithappa for help. He asked me to get in touch with Prof G P Rao in IIT Kanpur and get his advice. Prof Ganti Prasada Rao gave me almost full circuit and I did my project without any problem on thyristor control of DC machines. He was having information about many Professors on his finger tips. In VJTI Prof Kulkarni of High Voltage lab was his friend. Prof Jayaraman who wrote Fortran IV book was also his friend. How he could keep up such friendships I do not know.
When I was doing my M.E we studied about hypothesis testing and I would boast about how hypothesis tests would show the fakes from genuine. I was surprised when he told me all about t test and chi square and backed the statements with results from his lab. I recall that he wrote a paper "Quality of professional grade electronic components in India" for IEEE and was comfortable with all analytical tools which we were taught in M.E.
During my M.E, I would invariably meet him in his house in Bandra atleast once in a week (sithi would call me if I do not go) and I do not recall a single occasion when I have not been enlightened about something new in my academic side. He introduced me to his best friends and MIT alumni and always told me that "you should have push to come up". He was of the view that I lacked initiative of Punjabis and Gujarathis. His assessment stands true even today. Even in my own profession, I think I could have been more aggressive in marketing my capabilities.
He was very appreciative of my interest in literature both English and Tamil. he would consult on some speeches and writings occasionally though I did not contribute much. While I could discuss on Jayakanthan or Aldous Huxley any time, I was lacking in manual dexterity. I was clumsy with tools. I used the wrong tools and took more time even to execute simple tasks. I was aware that these impeded my progress in Engineering as a discipline not to speak of marks in some practical subjects. He would make fun of me every time I tried to do something in his car or in his house. I had devised a way to console myself in those times and that is to read Wodehouse. The more you find fault with me, the more Wodehouse reading I would do. No wonder I finished all that is to read in Wodehouse in about two years when I was in Bombay for my M.E!!.
He knew that I was working hard and was not surprised when I got distinction. He was disappointed when I got rejected in Telco and Larsen and Toubro and advised me to crack Central Engineering Services Examination. I did not do well in the examination. I joined a company in Nashik and for two months I worked there though I did not like the job.
During my stay in his house, I had never found him domineering. Even if I had said something out of place to my Sithi or to my cousins (which happened very often) he would just ignore it or turn the whole thing into a joke.
One fine morning, (I think it was 12th January) I got a call from my Sithi that I got appointment letter from BHEL and was asked to join in Tiruchirappalli on or before 20th January. Next morning, I packed up and left Nashik. On 17th January 1977, Sithappa drove me to VT station and saw me off in Madras Mail which leaves at 11 PM. He was almost 50 then and need not have driven all the way to station at a time close to midnight. I think that was his way of showing his love. He gave me a tie which I can clip on and do not have to tie (easy for me as you need not be dexterous to clip a tie on your collar).
After I joined BHEL, he paid a visit to the computer centre as Executive from CMC (IBM had then been closed) and he came to my room. He found it spartan and commented about how he used to live in AIR colony in a similar accommodation. He was very happy that I was working on Nuclear project and when I went to Bombay and participated in meetings with BARC people, I found him to be a great listener of how we were doing everything in India.
He discontinued his Ph.D when he returned to India. He was somewhat disappointed that he could not complete it. He did complete it and finally became Dr. C G Ravi. Hats off to his tenacity and perseverance. He was considered as one of the best resources in Fibre Optics by everyone almost till the day he passed away in 2008. He was awarded the outstanding Alumni award by MIT some time in 2000.
He was one person who was very optimistic about India. Once, when he saw that I was carrying "Wings of Fire" by our Ex President Dr Kalam, he appreciated me and supported Dr Abdul Kalam's views about India becoming super power by 2020 and said that it would happen. (Incidentally, Dr Abdul kalam also studied in MIT.) He dismissed any pessimistic statement by saying " I think he has reached middle age!!".
Professionally, I learnt all that I can learn from him till my visit to BARC. He came for my marriage and in 1983 I shifted to Bombay for, what many would say later, a reckless change in my job. After that, our relations did not continue so well. There could be many reasons and I am not going to think about them now and deviate from the topic I have taken to write.
As this blog is about my Uncle, I did not write about my aunt (sithi). I do not think I can describe in writing the love and care I received from her. She had high expectations from me and was vocal about them. I was very independent in nature and hence I could not live up to her expectations. But, as far as love is concerned, I think she was very spontaneous and had taken lot of trouble to solve my problems.
Sithappa passed away in September 2008. I met him for the last time in July 2008 after hearing about his illness. He asked me how he looked. For me, he seemed to be OK. Probably, something was seriously wrong. Well, that was it. I was lucky to have interacted with him and hopefully learnt some valuable things in the process.
To sum up, I learnt the following things from my sithappa who I think can be called my role model and I applied these to the extent of my ability in my profession of management consulting .
1. Be punctual.
2. Wear appropriate dress.
3. Thoroughly prepare before you speak.
4. Do not raise your voice. Place the facts and then talk.
5. Be aggressive when you have to be,
6. Do not placate your boss for getting a raise. Your work will get you the raise.
7. Take interest in professional societies.
8. Help others especially your alumni to get a job.
9. Be humble when praised.
10. Do not compromise your values. Hold your head high.
If he could read this, I just wanted to say, "Thanks to you Sithappa".
I do not know why I did not say it even once earlier.
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