A COTTAGE IN SWAMI HILLS *
7. KAMALAM ATHAI
Kamalam Athai is not my real aunt. She was not related to us. She lived with her father in Shaji naicken Street, a good ten minute walk from our house along the river Cauvery. When I met her first time she would have been around 40. She was beautiful in the classical sense. One can still remember her radiant face with a sharp nose and dark eyes. With a commanding look, she resembled the ladies in some of the Ravivarma portraits. I do not know about her personal life nor the reason she lived with her father with three children of whom two were daughters. It was irrelevant. With Kamalam athai you don't get a chance to ask questions. You simply got mesmerised by her ideas and words.
She came once a month to our house and the whole house reverberated when she came in. She laughed loudly and her statements were made as if she was in a public meeting. I never heard any statement form her in self pity though she must have had her share of problems. She always used to drag my grandmother into discussions like "Is idol worship the correct way?" or "Was Thayumanavar correct in saying Pannen unakkana Pujai?" She quoted extensively from books and no one can win her in argument. With an admiring crowd of my grandmother, Ponnamma Mami (the cook) and other ladies, Kamalam athai was at her best. She was subdued when my grandfather was around. But with others, there was no doubt as to who was the leader. She quoted from Bharathiyar and Adhi Sankara and had her own views about anything related to religion and spirituality. She was never frivolous nor discussed day to day matters like price of onion or the latest fashion in sarees.
One day, I asked Kamalam athai "Athai, Have you seen the first floor? I want to show you around. We got some good books there." She looked at me for a moment and gave me slap.(yes she slapped me which even my mother had not done). "Sekar, do you think I am new here to be taken around the house like a visitor?". I was careful afterwards when I spoke with her !!
Kamalam athai had two daughters, as I told earlier.The elder one was Banu and the younger one was Mala. Banu was a great Muruga bakthai and could literally faint in case some very good songs are sung on Murugan. This happened to her some times when my father sang Kavadi sindhu.
Kamalam athai was the critic for my father's songs. My father wrote
காமத்தை அளித்திடும் காஞ்சி காமாக்ஷி
நேயத்துடன் காத்திடும் காசி விசாலாக்ஷி
மாட்சியுடன் வீ ற்றிடும் மாமதுரை மீனாக்ஷி
காட்சி எனக்கருள்வாய் கழல் பணிந்தேன் தாயே
(சக்தி எனக்கருள் தந்தருள் -ராகமாலிகை -1965)
when he sang this, Kamalam athai, in her usual style and in a condescending tone objected to the word " காமத்தை அளித்திடும்" She said "Pattabhi, how can you write that Ambal gives lust? Is she not the destroyer of the lust in men?" . The discussions went on for almost half an hour but my father retained the words and did not change them to
காமத்தை அழித்திடும் காஞ்சி காமாக்ஷி as suggested by her.
She was thorough in Lalitha sahasranamam and could tell the nama and the number. When her elder daughter got married (to her own brother) and got a girl child, she gave the name Shobhana. My grandmother remarked "Kamalam, it appears to be a modern name". Kamalam athai replied ,"Akka, have you forgotten sahasranmam, the nama shobana appears as 683rd nama ......". My grandmother appreciated her excellent choice.
Kamalam athai believed that she was having some spiritual powers. At times, she used to relate about some dreams. One of the dreams she had described still stays in my memory.
"Akka, I saw a Kutti Pillayar slowly crawling towards me. Very tiny and so cute he was. I asked him to come to me. That Pillayar smiled and came fast to me. I took him and embraced him and he started drinking milk from me. I was happy. Then I saw there were more and more Pillayars. Hundreds of Pillayars crawling towards me." According to her, this signified the birth of a male child to her daughter. True, she got a grandson.
She mixed her thoughts on spirituality with politics. A few weeks after MGR was shot by Mr M R Radha, she came. She said, "Akka, Who can kill MGR? he has done so many good deeds. He has not been hurt at all. Now he has become a Nilakantan (Lord Siva is having the poison in his throat) and is carrying the bullet in his throat".
One day during Dasara puja, she sat near my grandfather performing Pooja and later commented about some Mudras she saw in the puja. (" முத்திரை விழுந்துதே பார்த்தேன்" ). My grandfather kept quiet. Next day also she sat near my grandfather. After an archana, my grandfather turned and his hands touched her for a moment. She suddenly said" Oh My Guru!! I have seen. I have seen. Enough for me now ". I, who as person, is the remotest in my family from anything spiritual naturally could not follow what had happened. Later, I asked my grandfather. But,, he just smiled. .
My grandfather approved kamalam Athai's genuine interest and he might have had a high opinion of her intelligence. However, I think he did not like her talking like an evolved soul. He used to say often " நாழி முகக்கா நா நாழி" ( you cannot fill two liters in a one liter can) . He said that individual capacity matters a lot when it comes to Spiritual progress. It does not matter where you are or to whom you are connected. He said , "You may be near an ocean but if you have a small cup, you can return with one cup of water only."
His son Kannan studied in IIT and became an Engineer. Kamalam Athai was proud of him. He had come once or twice to our house when he was studying. He was mostly a silent spectator in conversations. After my grandfather passed away, he came to our house for inviting for his marriage. He invited us and then looked at my grandfather's photo for a moment. he kept "akshadhai" near the photo and stood in silence for a second. Then he said to the photo "Please come".
I saw an interview with Kamalam Athai much later in "Mangaiyar Malar" magazine. Probably, she was quite active in Chennai where she might have shifted in later life.
Kamalam athai was one of the persons who got very strongly influenced by my grandfather and I think she had developed on her own too. She was positive in her approach to life and lived every moment with energy and happiness. She had never mentioned her problems to anyone even once and kept the people around asking for more when she related her views and her experiences.
* Cottage in swami hills refers to the house in which we lived in Kumbakonam. This phrase was used once by my grandfather when I asked him that as some people go in summer to Kodaikanal and Ooty where they have a cottage whether we would also be able to go and stay like them one day. My grandfather replied that he already has a cottage near swami Hills (swamimalai) and he referred to his house as the cottage.
காமத்தை அளித்திடும் காஞ்சி காமாக்ஷி
நேயத்துடன் காத்திடும் காசி விசாலாக்ஷி
மாட்சியுடன் வீ ற்றிடும் மாமதுரை மீனாக்ஷி
காட்சி எனக்கருள்வாய் கழல் பணிந்தேன் தாயே
(சக்தி எனக்கருள் தந்தருள் -ராகமாலிகை -1965)
when he sang this, Kamalam athai, in her usual style and in a condescending tone objected to the word " காமத்தை அளித்திடும்" She said "Pattabhi, how can you write that Ambal gives lust? Is she not the destroyer of the lust in men?" . The discussions went on for almost half an hour but my father retained the words and did not change them to
காமத்தை அழித்திடும் காஞ்சி காமாக்ஷி as suggested by her.
She was thorough in Lalitha sahasranamam and could tell the nama and the number. When her elder daughter got married (to her own brother) and got a girl child, she gave the name Shobhana. My grandmother remarked "Kamalam, it appears to be a modern name". Kamalam athai replied ,"Akka, have you forgotten sahasranmam, the nama shobana appears as 683rd nama ......". My grandmother appreciated her excellent choice.
Kamalam athai believed that she was having some spiritual powers. At times, she used to relate about some dreams. One of the dreams she had described still stays in my memory.
"Akka, I saw a Kutti Pillayar slowly crawling towards me. Very tiny and so cute he was. I asked him to come to me. That Pillayar smiled and came fast to me. I took him and embraced him and he started drinking milk from me. I was happy. Then I saw there were more and more Pillayars. Hundreds of Pillayars crawling towards me." According to her, this signified the birth of a male child to her daughter. True, she got a grandson.
She mixed her thoughts on spirituality with politics. A few weeks after MGR was shot by Mr M R Radha, she came. She said, "Akka, Who can kill MGR? he has done so many good deeds. He has not been hurt at all. Now he has become a Nilakantan (Lord Siva is having the poison in his throat) and is carrying the bullet in his throat".
One day during Dasara puja, she sat near my grandfather performing Pooja and later commented about some Mudras she saw in the puja. (" முத்திரை விழுந்துதே பார்த்தேன்" ). My grandfather kept quiet. Next day also she sat near my grandfather. After an archana, my grandfather turned and his hands touched her for a moment. She suddenly said" Oh My Guru!! I have seen. I have seen. Enough for me now ". I, who as person, is the remotest in my family from anything spiritual naturally could not follow what had happened. Later, I asked my grandfather. But,, he just smiled. .
My grandfather approved kamalam Athai's genuine interest and he might have had a high opinion of her intelligence. However, I think he did not like her talking like an evolved soul. He used to say often " நாழி முகக்கா நா நாழி" ( you cannot fill two liters in a one liter can) . He said that individual capacity matters a lot when it comes to Spiritual progress. It does not matter where you are or to whom you are connected. He said , "You may be near an ocean but if you have a small cup, you can return with one cup of water only."
His son Kannan studied in IIT and became an Engineer. Kamalam Athai was proud of him. He had come once or twice to our house when he was studying. He was mostly a silent spectator in conversations. After my grandfather passed away, he came to our house for inviting for his marriage. He invited us and then looked at my grandfather's photo for a moment. he kept "akshadhai" near the photo and stood in silence for a second. Then he said to the photo "Please come".
I saw an interview with Kamalam Athai much later in "Mangaiyar Malar" magazine. Probably, she was quite active in Chennai where she might have shifted in later life.
Kamalam athai was one of the persons who got very strongly influenced by my grandfather and I think she had developed on her own too. She was positive in her approach to life and lived every moment with energy and happiness. She had never mentioned her problems to anyone even once and kept the people around asking for more when she related her views and her experiences.
* Cottage in swami hills refers to the house in which we lived in Kumbakonam. This phrase was used once by my grandfather when I asked him that as some people go in summer to Kodaikanal and Ooty where they have a cottage whether we would also be able to go and stay like them one day. My grandfather replied that he already has a cottage near swami Hills (swamimalai) and he referred to his house as the cottage.
No comments:
Post a Comment