A Cottage in Swami Hills- 2. Ponnamma Mami

A COTTAGE IN SWAMI HILLS* - 2

2. PONNAMMA MAMI

By job defintion, Ponnamma Mami or Ponnammal Ammal was appointed as a  cook somewhere in 1050s in Kumbakonam house. It is said that she was "left" by her husband Shri Rajagopalan after some dispute about dowry and so she came to seek legal assistance from my grandfather. I think Tanjore brahmin landlords had this habit of marrying and then leaving their wives in lurch  as such "abandoned" wives were many. Society did not help them and they were looked down upon as "vazhavettis" (translated as "woman who had no life"). After abandoning the women under some pretext , the brahmin landlords lived their lives in full enjoyment. I do not know which punishment would be suitable to them. But, I think I am digressing from the topic.

Though initially she was appointed as a cook to help my grandmother, Ponnamma Mami was an example of how to exercise extra constitutional authority and power. She grew in stature and power in ten years that she became a focal point for all decision making. Any one entering the house could hear her crystal clear voice either welcoming with delight or scolding with the anger. It does not matter what time you visit, you encountered her at the gate.

To be fair to her, she was honest and loyal. I do not think she had any inclination to misuse her position. With absolute access to all the cash and materials in the house, she could have made a lot of money. But. such a thought never occurred to her. She dedicated herself to the welfare of the inmates of the house. In that process, she exercised tremendous powers as if she was a regent in a royal court.  Servant maids, Dhobis, milkmaids and even sastrigals had to encounter her stern looks and inviolable instructions.    

She was very frail but had a commanding voice. She was very intelligent and had a good memory. She took bath early morning and started cooking with the vegetables brought in by my grandmother from the lady who brings vegetables in the morning. Her job began with the evaluation of the quality of vegetables. Invariably, the vegetables did not pass the test on many occasions and "vakilathu mami" that is my grandmother was squarely criticised for being lenient with "Lakshmi" who was the vegetable seller.  Her statements were never direct. They were made to the maid or the tenant or just in general to any one but the sting was there. My grandmother did not pay attention to her words.

At 1030 AM that is as soon as my grandfather left for the court, Ponnamma mami adjourned to the front courtyard. She sat with the latest "Kalki" from which she read aloud either "katrinile varum geetham" or "arivukkanalae arutpunale". I think she also read aloud "Thillana Mohanambal" and "kurinjimalar" when they were serialised in Kalki. She then took up the character which appealed to her and discussed it with the members who crowded around. They could be tenants or visitors and sometimes my grandmother used to join most of the time as a listener. People used to get emotional and sometimes some ladies cried on such descriptions of the plight of the heroine. She discussed with lot of energy and she used to act out what "Purani" (Kurinjimalar) should have done or what "Bhairavi Brahmani" (Arivukkanale arutpunale") should not have done. The discussions went almost till 2 or 230 when every one reminded her about the evening coffee.

Sometimes with the tuft of hair tied right over her head and sitting in a padmasana posture on a saree doubly serving as her seat she almost imitated as a  yogini many days. She could recite Shyamala Dandakam or Lalitha sahsranamam withoutseeing the text. She had kept one Hanuman picture and prayed hanuman more than any other deity. 

Her relations with the daughters-in-law of the house were matter of fact and formal. My periamma never came close to her and she was shielded very well by my periappa from any interaction during their visits.  My mother spent a considerable time in Kumbakonam and so she was constantly in touch with Ponnamma Mami. I do not know how they could keep peace with each other as both had domineering personalities. My mother probably bought peace by listening to Ponnamma Mami but disagreeing with her in her heart. With other sithis, She had a walk over. They came in late and so she had no qualms in calling them by their names. I think this would not have been possible without the tacit approval of my grandmother. No wonder, many times people criticised my grandmother for giving so much of liberty to a cook and a care taker. My grandfather said since his mother's name was Ponnamma he could not chide her which probably added to her advantage. Except for a deaf and dumb person who used to meet her often on the road (she said that he was her cousin) and who was working as a compositor in some press, she had no relatives and no friends. "Sarma sir's house was her house and his family was her family. There was no attempt by any of her relatives to reach out to her. In 1962, Balu sithappa took her to Roorkee for a brief stay. During that visit, Ponnamma Mami visited Kasi and was all praise for my sithappa who could facilitate the bath in the Ganges. My Uncle said that she had to be brought back as she had developed TB. 

She was religious and visited Kalahasthiswara temple every day in the evening. Sometimes, the visit extended up to late night as she also attended many pravachans in the Kamakoti Matham or in the temple. Invariably, she told my grandmother that she is going to give milk for somebody's birthday and so she spent some money out of the money given for shopping,  Sometimes, there used to specific instructions given by my sithis that "ask Ponnamma Mami to give milk to Mariaman temple" in the letters and this was carried out immediately. The grandchildren started developing a fear for Ponnamma Mami even before interacting with her. I recall one of my cousins telling her mother "if you beat, I will tell Ponnamma Mami". It was surprising how the children come to know the subtle power structure so well.

 Like all things have to come to an end, with the passing away of my grand father, the household was reduced to only my grandmother and probably my father and mother coming for visits. We had no more clerks, servant maids, Dhobi, milk maid,flower man, Betel man and all the paraphernalia. My grandmother's sister came for staying in the house and she detested Ponnamma Mammi's ways. With the tide turning against her, she went somewhere for a few years. I do not recall where she went but it was told that she had some relatives and she went to stay with them.

Just before my wedding, she suddenly came to our house and appealed to my mother to let her stay in the house for some time. My mother refused to listen to her and she went out. I do not know what she did and where she went after that day. I was told she went to Kalahasthi and stayed in the temple meant for for destitutes.

I sometimes ask myself whether it was morally correct on our part to have denied her a decent farewell. She worked for us and spent the bet part of her life for our family. We could have at least given her a decent sum to ensure her livelihood. After all at that time she did not look like the powerful Ponnamma but a pitiable ponnamma.

Should we have helped her?

The question haunts me still at nights.

There is, alas, no answer to this question.  There never will be.

* Cottage in swami hills refers to the house in which we lived in Kumbakonam. This phrase was used once by my grandfather when I asked him that since some  people go in summer to Kodaikanal and Ooty where they have a cottage whether we would be able to go like that one day. My grandfather replied that he already has a cottage near swami Hills (swamimalai) which refers to his house.